Three and a Half Years.

Thanksgiving. I am grateful for the people around me who love me and take time out for me. (A shout out to Dad and Mum and the whole jing gang, Host Dad and Mum, Che LL and Bang J, Boss FJ and clan, Staffworker G, WK, JLynn, Bang Z, The Panel, XHZ, E and R, Sisterrrrrr C, JF, JL and Lil Bro J!) Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the different ones who have sown into my life with prayer, words of encouragement, shared knowledge, just a willingness to contribute to my journey. Thanksgiving. I am overwhelmed by God's mercy and His goodness, by His faithfulness and His grace. Thanksgiving. I am thankful for teh peng at the mamak and Taiwan iced milk tea at Boss' favourite hangout. Thanksgiving. I am in awe at the simultaneous simplicity and complexity of Him who is my Saviour. Thanksgiving. I am filled with gratitude for what He does in my life...in His time.

I played my concluding recital yesterday. Three and a half years of highs and lows, working toward this.

The day before, the Lord graciously brought the conclusion to this period that I have as a student in my college. He revealed what the additional six months was for. He brought me to the pinnacle of my life's journey up to this point in time. I came home and spent some time with Che LL - originally intended as a time of prayer but turned into the revelation and breakthrough in music and worship - and she dug with me to uncover some deeply rooted fears that I had with regards to exams and performances. After my guard was let down, she threw me a curve-ball by asking - "What is your instrument?". In my mind, it was a funny question, but perhaps she wanted me to speak it out. I responded with the very obvious "My flute.". She shook her head and asked me twice more.

Earlier this year, one of the running slogans for my college's open day was 'art isn't sensible, it's spiritual'. Dad linked me a sermon just last week by Rev. David Jeremiah and he said something that pried a buried part of me open. Spiritual worship is not so much a state of the art as it is the state of the heart. Dad was talking to me about the importance of using the gifts that God has given me and using it every possible moment. He was talking about writing songs, playing the flute, serving with my instrument whenever possible.

When Che LL continued with the conversation, she talked about how music is fueled by emotions, feelings. Music requires a stimulant to have a voice. She talked about how artists turn to drugs and such for the illusion of a stimulant. She talked about how instruments are man-made, but the heart is God-made.

Late May/early June of this year saw a ravaging of things and people who were so dear to my heart. I was battered down and so broken and discouraged. The encouragement was that things had to happen the way they did so God could work on my heart. God brought people around me - His family - people who helped me get up and cheered me on as I started walking again. People who gave of themselves - not because they owed me anything, but just because they wanted to bless me. Contrary to the satisfaction that I had, thinking that getting up and walking again was the whole point, God began piecing my heart back together to get it ready for the day when He revealed the whole purpose of this additional six months.

He revealed these things to me when the time was right. I thought of Kak Y and began to see how she put her heart into everything she did, especially when she sang unto Him. She didn't have to say that she did - it was obvious. It showed. God taught me that when I put my heart into what I do, I shall open and no one shall shut, and I shall shut and no one shall open. He has given me something so precious, and in His time, He has taught me to use this weapon.

Spending time with Him in the morning is refreshing.

This race has come to its conclusion for me, and as I look back, I am beginning to see His hand upon every step of the way. I am thankful that His purpose has come to pass and excited for what is ahead.

I am victorious in Him who says I am. I have overcome for my God gives me strength!