I thank God for bringing me home.
So I'm loving giving back to Him. I have been missing that. A lot. But then again, it gave me time to think...who am I Really doing it for? Him? My teammates? Myself? And I know the answer should always be Him. That's why being in the ministry is hard. Coz I haven't reached the level where it's all about Him. I told Him that's what I want. From now onwards. And I believe, Strongly, that He's gonna teach me how. Yes, I'm confident about that. Coz I have the assurance that He will never turn down such a prayer.
It was awesome seeing Him work through the different individuals, as we came together to unite for Him. Not discriminating nationality, denomination, origin...just coming together for Him. Being able to serve alongside them was a real reminder of what I needed to be doing. What I wanted to be doing. I have been giving myself excuses for too long, been telling myself I need to settle down and need to be ready first. When He calls, am I going to tell Him...'Hang on...I need to polish my armour'? This has to change. And it did. I took that first step. And now I'm gonna have to follow up and follow through. There's no other way to say this. I'm excited. Excited about being in the fellowship again, in the ministry again, excited about giving back to Him what He has given to me. Am I ready to be part of what He's stirring up? What He's doing? You bet I am.
It all started with a text. And next thing I knew, I was filled with such joy. Joy that I had three Sundays ago, only this time, much more. I said I'll do it, and I'm glad I did. Being able to just be there once again, giving back to Him...I felt like I was coming home. And I am home.
It's been crazy. I've been struggling with emotions, mindsets....and had to change lots of things, but I believe the whole process was moulding me, and hey, He's still working on me. Mm...I suddenly feel like listening to that a cappella album. Must remember to get it back.
So I'm a normal teenage girl, been down...but He sent people to cheer me up during those times...been homesick, but again, He sent people who are now like family to me...been having a lot to think about, but He has been faithful in showing me that He knows all things and He'll provide. Crazy things have been happening in the past few months.
I just surrendered to Him this morning. Once again. And I am setting my mind to do it every morning. I need to be reminded that He now has control over all aspects of my life. My walk with Him, my family, the music-related stuff, the typical teenage girl stuff...
And now I'll have more time to talk to Him, thanks to Him for public transport.
To consult Him about all the things I'm thinking about...
To ask Him for guidance in the relationships I'm building...in church, in school...
To ask Him for grace, facing each new day, with new challenges...
To ask Him for patience as I go through school....with all the assignments...
To ask Him what to do when I'm spiraling out of control...
To ask Him for wisdom in making decisions daily...
To ask Him for the passion and the drive to persevere and be faithful in the little He has given me so that He can take it and multiply it...
To ask Him for a constant reminder that I just need to cast all my cares upon Him and He will take care of them and of me.
To thank Him for taking care of me and just being in control of my life.
Lord, I Really need Your grace.
By the way, thanks for the 'birthday surprise', guys. Lol. Next time I'll try to be blur, ya? Haha. And to my two dear sisters, thanks for the evening out.
