It is nearing the end of yet another year. It feels like it's flown by. My mum asked me to think of three things I'm thankful for, so very briefly, here they are.
One.
I'm thankful for family and the fact that no matter what, they take me in and let me pick myself up. I know my parents love me. I'm blessed with a wonderful family. Being based at home has its downsides though. there's always a fine line between 'but you're my child' and 'you're an adult now'. That line gets crossed so many times. I love my parents to bits, and I know they want the best for me. But as has been my tune, I'm restless and there's this want to get back out there and stand on my own.
For the new year, there's a lot more growing ahead of me. I think the day that I stop growing in character will be le morte d'Chara. I believe that character makes a person. Much more than the outward appearance or the farce that so many of us put on or water down in front of others. I'll admit that in the process of my pulling myself back together, walls have also come up to 'guard myself'. I don't know if this is a good thing in the sense that I'm concerning myself less and less with what people think, or if it's a bad thing because I'm reevaluating my friendships.
Two.
I'm thankful for being blessed with the ability and opportunity to pick up new things.
I started the year with the revival of my snail mail correspondence, and with that came the reintroduction to fountain pens. This isn't something I see myself spending hundreds of dollars on, and I must say that I am quite content with the collection I have now (oops!). Perhaps I'll look into better paper or something. Hmm...
Then there's the Flute Repair 101 which has come extremely handy in the maintenance of both my students' flutes and mine, and provided an additional source of income. I've really enjoyed tinkering with adjustments and regulation - and am really blessed with technicians who are willing to help with my troubleshooting despite being ~450 mi away. These guys provide wonderful service and I have never been disappointed. They are honest and ever ready to help. Being able to learn from them has truly been an honour, one that I don't take lightly.
I also managed to pick up crocheting and worked on a couple of projects, where if my interpretations are accurate, have been sources of much joy and smiles. These projects also helped keep me sane through the seven weeks I experienced being a relief teacher. There was much reward from that, seeing the students and still hearing tales of how they are progressing in school and out of school.
The other major thing I'd like to toss into the mix is something I've been talking about through the later half of the year. I crossed paths with a man who, in his humility and wit, refers to himself as a 'bofessional'. Again, with him, there's always a freedom to troubleshoot, always an open door to learn. I haven't done all that many events with him - just two so far, and the latter was him jumping in voluntarily to help because I had no other backup and I still didn't feel comfortable enough to handle an event on my own. We're not just talking Sunday mixes. He made sure that his assistant was there together with him, and it was a good thing too, since there was an issue with our lightning arrester and the power kept going out. There is much more to learn, which I hope to do some of in the coming year.
Funnily enough, all these things I'm picking up seem to be on the slightly more costly side. Lol. I'm starting to see the figures adding up and next year is going to require some careful budgeting.
Three.
I'm thankful for the relationships that have grown and blossomed over the past year. Sure, I still don't feel like this is home, but nonetheless, there have been different individuals who have gotten close enough to share experiences with me. I can only pray that I can be as much of a blessing to them as they are to me.
I remember asking for someone I could respect, who respects me for who I am and not just a part of me. Everyone's working on building character. I'm no exception to that. You're no exception to that. But the fact that you're willing to grow and learn together with me? That's something that I'm delighted to work with. I'm glad that we've been able to influence each other and expand our spheres of learning. I'm glad that you choose to recognise and respect my views and that we can talk about things. I'm glad that with you, I can look forward and not dwell on past failures. I'm thankful for you.
In the coming year, I am anticipating a major change, something I had expected to happen this year but due to certain circumstances, could not. There are goals to be met, things to be refined, and more character to be built. I hope to be able to step out beyond the safety of my family home and see what's out there for me. I'm looking forward to people and places and experiences. Not in the this-is-my-bucket-list kind of way. I don't have a bucket list. I think. More of the I'm-growing-up-to-be-a-fine-young-lady kind of way.
Onward!
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015
Last Saturday...
I am thankful for opportunities, learning experiences and people who are more than willing to teach and share.
Lately I've been getting more and more into audio tech and sound engineering - or rather I've become more interested in said field. Yes, it's very male dominated. Whether there are reasons for that or whether it's just that there aren't enough females around who bother, I don't know, but this female right here has found herself finding interest in various technical and mechanical things.
It started from me wanting to understand what goes on behind the board, rather than merely making demands for things to sound a certain way. There are limits to what machines can do, and a soundboard is no exception. The little taste I got during that one module in college was not enough to satiate me. As I find myself growing less fond of being onstage, I find myself growing more fond of being behind the scenes.
Six days ago, I was given an opportunity to be part of a team for an event that was happening at one of the concert halls. Naturally, I jumped at it. I don't claim to know a whole lot about how things work - much of my learning of the soundboard has happened just like my learning crochet. I dive right in and figure things out as I go along. Most of the time, I don't know what exactly I'm doing. I don't have the ground knowledge and I don't claim to have it. It doesn't stop me from wanting to learn.
We started out by having to write a channel list based on the equipment we had and whatever else we needed. This was an email assignment. Having no clue whatsoever but my own deductions, I ran a quick search via the 'net and read up about what a channel list was. Better to be a fool for five minutes than a fool for life, right? I wrote up my channel list and emailed it to Boss along with a note explaining that I wasn't sure if what I had done was what he wanted, but for him to please do correct my work. Boss was nice enough to reply positively, attaching the channel list of one of the other guys on the team.
Following that was a songlist, and we were told to listen to the tracks and make notes that would help us when mixing. This was much like the analyses I had to do back in college, but on a less complicated scale.
Then things got professional and intercom apps were talked about...this is when I semi-panicked. I don't have a smartphone. Yes, I could probably stick with someone else...I dropped Boss a message. Boss was super cool about it and told me not to worry, just make sure I'm there on time. I still tried to think of a solution though, and thank God for little sisters and mums and friends. My friend drove me back home, I borrowed little sister's iPhone because she wasn't using it for the day, and mum's powerbank. (Sidenote: Time to upgrade my phone? Still debating on this one.)
Getting to the venue was no problem, and soon the intercom app got set up and I was feeling a little bit (okay a lot) professional. Duties were designated and I got to play at being a stage manager. Again, I freaked, because 'what on earth does a stage manager do????'
By the end of the night, I had learnt so much and was wiped out from the whole 'being on my toes the whole time' thing. With the help of one of the other guys, I wound up a really long Cat-5 cable and that was that. Cat-5 cables make things so easy to manage.
Days later, I'm still thinking about the whole thing. It's always interesting to play different roles and understand why each is needed. Having majored in music performance, I know what it's like onstage. I discovered in the course of my studies that I don't like being in the spotlight. I much prefer collective work - orchestral work is among that. I like things that work in teams. Perhaps that's also why I'm taking a liking to sound-related stuff. Not only do I get to understand what goes on behind the board, but I get to work with others to produce the results. And it requires me to use my ears and troubleshoot. Being a stage manager requires a lot of attention to the program flow and the managing of people, whether it's a team of crew or telling to performers to get onstage and being alert to anything and everything that could go wrong onstage. My role in this event was the former and the latter. Not so much the middle. I don't know if I would repeat the experience given a choice, but at the same time, I don't dispute that I learnt a lot from getting to see things from a different angle.
DY, the guy on the board, was pretty cool to work with also. He was extremely encouraging, and willing to share software that will be helpful in running sound for events or services. I'm actually really really looking forward to more that I can learn, which Boss is currently arranging for.
Needless to say, I'm excited.
On a different note, I hit my 50k. Thanks TC for setting the pace. Frankly, I don't think I would have made it if not for wanting to keep up with you. And you went at breakneck speed. =.= But really. Thank you. :)
Also, I now have 29 days.
Lately I've been getting more and more into audio tech and sound engineering - or rather I've become more interested in said field. Yes, it's very male dominated. Whether there are reasons for that or whether it's just that there aren't enough females around who bother, I don't know, but this female right here has found herself finding interest in various technical and mechanical things.
It started from me wanting to understand what goes on behind the board, rather than merely making demands for things to sound a certain way. There are limits to what machines can do, and a soundboard is no exception. The little taste I got during that one module in college was not enough to satiate me. As I find myself growing less fond of being onstage, I find myself growing more fond of being behind the scenes.
Six days ago, I was given an opportunity to be part of a team for an event that was happening at one of the concert halls. Naturally, I jumped at it. I don't claim to know a whole lot about how things work - much of my learning of the soundboard has happened just like my learning crochet. I dive right in and figure things out as I go along. Most of the time, I don't know what exactly I'm doing. I don't have the ground knowledge and I don't claim to have it. It doesn't stop me from wanting to learn.
We started out by having to write a channel list based on the equipment we had and whatever else we needed. This was an email assignment. Having no clue whatsoever but my own deductions, I ran a quick search via the 'net and read up about what a channel list was. Better to be a fool for five minutes than a fool for life, right? I wrote up my channel list and emailed it to Boss along with a note explaining that I wasn't sure if what I had done was what he wanted, but for him to please do correct my work. Boss was nice enough to reply positively, attaching the channel list of one of the other guys on the team.
Following that was a songlist, and we were told to listen to the tracks and make notes that would help us when mixing. This was much like the analyses I had to do back in college, but on a less complicated scale.
Then things got professional and intercom apps were talked about...this is when I semi-panicked. I don't have a smartphone. Yes, I could probably stick with someone else...I dropped Boss a message. Boss was super cool about it and told me not to worry, just make sure I'm there on time. I still tried to think of a solution though, and thank God for little sisters and mums and friends. My friend drove me back home, I borrowed little sister's iPhone because she wasn't using it for the day, and mum's powerbank. (Sidenote: Time to upgrade my phone? Still debating on this one.)
Getting to the venue was no problem, and soon the intercom app got set up and I was feeling a little bit (okay a lot) professional. Duties were designated and I got to play at being a stage manager. Again, I freaked, because 'what on earth does a stage manager do????'
By the end of the night, I had learnt so much and was wiped out from the whole 'being on my toes the whole time' thing. With the help of one of the other guys, I wound up a really long Cat-5 cable and that was that. Cat-5 cables make things so easy to manage.
Days later, I'm still thinking about the whole thing. It's always interesting to play different roles and understand why each is needed. Having majored in music performance, I know what it's like onstage. I discovered in the course of my studies that I don't like being in the spotlight. I much prefer collective work - orchestral work is among that. I like things that work in teams. Perhaps that's also why I'm taking a liking to sound-related stuff. Not only do I get to understand what goes on behind the board, but I get to work with others to produce the results. And it requires me to use my ears and troubleshoot. Being a stage manager requires a lot of attention to the program flow and the managing of people, whether it's a team of crew or telling to performers to get onstage and being alert to anything and everything that could go wrong onstage. My role in this event was the former and the latter. Not so much the middle. I don't know if I would repeat the experience given a choice, but at the same time, I don't dispute that I learnt a lot from getting to see things from a different angle.
DY, the guy on the board, was pretty cool to work with also. He was extremely encouraging, and willing to share software that will be helpful in running sound for events or services. I'm actually really really looking forward to more that I can learn, which Boss is currently arranging for.
Needless to say, I'm excited.
On a different note, I hit my 50k. Thanks TC for setting the pace. Frankly, I don't think I would have made it if not for wanting to keep up with you. And you went at breakneck speed. =.= But really. Thank you. :)
Also, I now have 29 days.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Do you remember - oh wait. It's November.
It's November. The year seems to be passing so quickly. Too quickly, almost. Hi-5 if you're still grooving to September by EWF.
I'm thankful that my new book got here (be nice to me mwahahahahaha). I'm thankful that I'm well on my way to complete the 50k target. I'm thankful that I seem to be making more significant progress in the physical department. Let's hope the next one is it?
I seem to be making milestones in my kitchen prowess. Allow me to elaborate.
I baked two banana cakes just under a week ago. One after the other. When I bake more than one cake within a day, it usually means the cake(s) is(are) being given away. And this time it was to a doctor friend who has been helping grandpa with his recovery, making housecalls late into the evening after surgery/a full day at the hospital. Favour is what it is.
I baked the two cakes (I know I'm repeating this. Shhhh.) and both times, was rewarded with this surge of pride and contentment. With this recipe, it is often that the batter ends up separating. That's how I've been making it my whole life because I didn't know any better. Having gleaned more knowledge over the years though, it has been my personal mission to make sure the batter doesn't separate. For any cake I make. It's really a test with this recipe. The result is a tender yet crumbly, moist, and less sweet banana cake than what you find in the cake shops. Fine crumb? Not at all. Buried all through the cake are banana bits, where the bananas are mashed with a fork, so they're not entirely pureed. I use overripe bananas so that contributes part of the sweetness, and I reduce the sugar by quite a bit.
Both times when I mixed up the batter, creaming the standard butter, sugar and vanilla, then adding the eggs...I got a smooth, silky texture, almost buttercream-like. See, Chef A taught me this trick to help stabilise the batter so separation can be prevented. But even when doing this with this particular recipe, the batter is still prone to separating. There has almost never been a time that I can remember where it didn't. This time though, both times, there was zero separation. This can only mean one thing. There was no under or overbeating. The timing was near perfect.
Both cakes rose and browned, and the top crust was the way it should be. A nice crisp that strangely complements the tender, crumbly, moist goodness with each bite, with surprise bits of fruit. No soggy crust. No walnuts either, since they're expensive and the cake is good without them anyway. And of course, my little cinnamon bun monster is strangely allergic to walnuts. Just walnuts. The cake was sliced, and half of it gone before even sitting to cool for half an hour.
No separation! Whee~~~~~~
It's an achievement okay. Stop looking at me like that.
Another achievement in the kitchen was the day right after that when mum turned to me and said:
"Cut the turnip for stirfry please."
"Uhhhh mum. You want me to cut the turnip?"
"Yup."
"You sure?"
Just a bit of backstory so you'll understand. Cutting the turnip for stirfry means finely julienne. This was a test my mum had to go through to gain her late mother-in-law's (yes, my late Ah Ma) approval in the kitchen. Everything else was easy. This though. Working with a bulky turnip on a little wood chopping block and a knife. To finely julienne is no easy task. Cannot grate. Not allowed. Mum's never 'trusted' be enough to entrust this task to me. I've been practicing with other things like ginger and carrots and onions...so for her to ask me is a huge deal. To me at least. I've never attempted jiu hu char when cooking alone. For fear of the finely julienned turnip requirement.
"Yes, I'm sure. Faster la."
So I start on the tedious, looming task of finely julienning the turnip. One filled stainless steel bowl later, I'm done. With no slicing of fingernails or fingers. Blood free.
"Uh mum? Can pass ah?"
She peers over. Doesn't say anything.
Nuts.
Later on as she's frying the turnip, she turns to me.
"Good job. Pass."
Oh the relief and the joy bursting forth from my innermost wanting-to-be-good-in-the-kitchen being! And the elation at my efforts and skills being declared adequate. I could weep for joy! Only I didn't actually weep. But I'm happy!
And now I need to stop typing because my eyes are starting to hurt from staring at this font. I'm also taking a break from the whole 50k endeavour. Let's see how long this 'break' lasts. Lol.
Ps. Now I really really really know I passed the julienne test because a few hours after I penned this blurb, mum told me to go julienne twenty shallots to make you chang. Again, no casualty fingers or fingernails. Yay!
I'm thankful that my new book got here (be nice to me mwahahahahaha). I'm thankful that I'm well on my way to complete the 50k target. I'm thankful that I seem to be making more significant progress in the physical department. Let's hope the next one is it?
I seem to be making milestones in my kitchen prowess. Allow me to elaborate.
I baked two banana cakes just under a week ago. One after the other. When I bake more than one cake within a day, it usually means the cake(s) is(are) being given away. And this time it was to a doctor friend who has been helping grandpa with his recovery, making housecalls late into the evening after surgery/a full day at the hospital. Favour is what it is.
I baked the two cakes (I know I'm repeating this. Shhhh.) and both times, was rewarded with this surge of pride and contentment. With this recipe, it is often that the batter ends up separating. That's how I've been making it my whole life because I didn't know any better. Having gleaned more knowledge over the years though, it has been my personal mission to make sure the batter doesn't separate. For any cake I make. It's really a test with this recipe. The result is a tender yet crumbly, moist, and less sweet banana cake than what you find in the cake shops. Fine crumb? Not at all. Buried all through the cake are banana bits, where the bananas are mashed with a fork, so they're not entirely pureed. I use overripe bananas so that contributes part of the sweetness, and I reduce the sugar by quite a bit.
Both times when I mixed up the batter, creaming the standard butter, sugar and vanilla, then adding the eggs...I got a smooth, silky texture, almost buttercream-like. See, Chef A taught me this trick to help stabilise the batter so separation can be prevented. But even when doing this with this particular recipe, the batter is still prone to separating. There has almost never been a time that I can remember where it didn't. This time though, both times, there was zero separation. This can only mean one thing. There was no under or overbeating. The timing was near perfect.
Both cakes rose and browned, and the top crust was the way it should be. A nice crisp that strangely complements the tender, crumbly, moist goodness with each bite, with surprise bits of fruit. No soggy crust. No walnuts either, since they're expensive and the cake is good without them anyway. And of course, my little cinnamon bun monster is strangely allergic to walnuts. Just walnuts. The cake was sliced, and half of it gone before even sitting to cool for half an hour.
No separation! Whee~~~~~~
It's an achievement okay. Stop looking at me like that.
Another achievement in the kitchen was the day right after that when mum turned to me and said:
"Cut the turnip for stirfry please."
"Uhhhh mum. You want me to cut the turnip?"
"Yup."
"You sure?"
Just a bit of backstory so you'll understand. Cutting the turnip for stirfry means finely julienne. This was a test my mum had to go through to gain her late mother-in-law's (yes, my late Ah Ma) approval in the kitchen. Everything else was easy. This though. Working with a bulky turnip on a little wood chopping block and a knife. To finely julienne is no easy task. Cannot grate. Not allowed. Mum's never 'trusted' be enough to entrust this task to me. I've been practicing with other things like ginger and carrots and onions...so for her to ask me is a huge deal. To me at least. I've never attempted jiu hu char when cooking alone. For fear of the finely julienned turnip requirement.
"Yes, I'm sure. Faster la."
So I start on the tedious, looming task of finely julienning the turnip. One filled stainless steel bowl later, I'm done. With no slicing of fingernails or fingers. Blood free.
"Uh mum? Can pass ah?"
She peers over. Doesn't say anything.
Nuts.
Later on as she's frying the turnip, she turns to me.
"Good job. Pass."
Oh the relief and the joy bursting forth from my innermost wanting-to-be-good-in-the-kitchen being! And the elation at my efforts and skills being declared adequate. I could weep for joy! Only I didn't actually weep. But I'm happy!
And now I need to stop typing because my eyes are starting to hurt from staring at this font. I'm also taking a break from the whole 50k endeavour. Let's see how long this 'break' lasts. Lol.
Ps. Now I really really really know I passed the julienne test because a few hours after I penned this blurb, mum told me to go julienne twenty shallots to make you chang. Again, no casualty fingers or fingernails. Yay!
Friday, October 9, 2015
October?
After much deliberation...
I caved. I gave in. I did it.
And now, the waiting game.
Also, 50k words. Let's see how this plays out. Oh Lord, give me inspiration.
I caved. I gave in. I did it.
And now, the waiting game.
Also, 50k words. Let's see how this plays out. Oh Lord, give me inspiration.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Moving forward
This month (especially), I'm thankful for the people in my life who take the time to invest and actually take an interest in my life and let me share theirs.
Life is sweeter when you get to share it with others. This month, as with the family birthday tradition, I had AC and family over to share a steamboat dinner and a time of appreciation. It was an encouraging time, and my (not so) Baby sister threw a challenge out there for me. It's certainly been a month where some change has been sparked, not the specific change I was hoping for, but definitely a step closer there.
New gear. This is never easy for me because I take aaaaaaaages to transition over to new gear. (I never really transitioned over to my second machine when I was in college, and it took a good two years or so till I actually retired the old mac.) The new backpack is sweet, but not as 'solid' as the current one. My Trusty Turtle Shell is falling apart. It's been almost six years. End of last year though, a new backpack was acquired...and it's Laptop Compatible. The transition over has been happening. The backpack also came with a tag I thought was really really cute to 'certify' that it is indeed Laptop Compatible. That said - I kept the tag.
Related to that, since my TTS normally carries one of my boys...on the flute front, the BF and I are getting along just fine, and BF has a new friend now. The new count for GUOs on this little Hawker Paradise island is now two. Ed's been quite comfortable and gets to visit with my students with me. Mr. James doesn't get out much, but when he does, he does alright. It also feels good when I successfully solve flute problems for my students. Technical problems, that is.
In other news, MuRa is doing great. We're spending more time and we're making good progress. We've been expanding the range of our repertoire and working on some finer details with some consideration for a little more direction for the near future.
I think there comes a place in life where one starts to want to share what used to be places of solitude and/or comfort with another. It's creeping up on me. It feels...interesting.
It's nice working towards goals, however small they may be. Next up, Mission55.
Life is sweeter when you get to share it with others. This month, as with the family birthday tradition, I had AC and family over to share a steamboat dinner and a time of appreciation. It was an encouraging time, and my (not so) Baby sister threw a challenge out there for me. It's certainly been a month where some change has been sparked, not the specific change I was hoping for, but definitely a step closer there.
New gear. This is never easy for me because I take aaaaaaaages to transition over to new gear. (I never really transitioned over to my second machine when I was in college, and it took a good two years or so till I actually retired the old mac.) The new backpack is sweet, but not as 'solid' as the current one. My Trusty Turtle Shell is falling apart. It's been almost six years. End of last year though, a new backpack was acquired...and it's Laptop Compatible. The transition over has been happening. The backpack also came with a tag I thought was really really cute to 'certify' that it is indeed Laptop Compatible. That said - I kept the tag.
Related to that, since my TTS normally carries one of my boys...on the flute front, the BF and I are getting along just fine, and BF has a new friend now. The new count for GUOs on this little Hawker Paradise island is now two. Ed's been quite comfortable and gets to visit with my students with me. Mr. James doesn't get out much, but when he does, he does alright. It also feels good when I successfully solve flute problems for my students. Technical problems, that is.
In other news, MuRa is doing great. We're spending more time and we're making good progress. We've been expanding the range of our repertoire and working on some finer details with some consideration for a little more direction for the near future.
I think there comes a place in life where one starts to want to share what used to be places of solitude and/or comfort with another. It's creeping up on me. It feels...interesting.
It's nice working towards goals, however small they may be. Next up, Mission55.
Monday, August 31, 2015
September approaches. Yes, it does.
My thoughts are pretty fragmented, so please, bear with me.
I spent the weekend away from here because my brother graduated. Yup. He made it. And I am an extremely proud sister. I'm really happy that he made it.
Sometimes I feel it's odd because I seem to be a little bit ahead of him. I don't mean that in a bad way - let me try to clarify a little. I left home for LL to join the rat race and pursue further studies and all that. I remember walking in to the finance office of his uni one day because he needed to make a payment prior to his being physically there. The finance officer was nice, and he ended up asking me if I was the elder sister. I smiled and responded with a negative. At that time, I was just a younger sister, proud of her brother.
Kor has always been closer to my heart than my other siblings. Maybe it's because we are but a year apart, perhaps it's because mum and dad used to put him in charge of me. Whatever it was, I love him. And I'm proud of him.
As I sat in the auditorium, getting misty eyed one too many times, I was filled with this overwhelming sense of pride that my brother made it. The others in his cohort were just names. But my brother? He made it. It was difficult, it was stressful. There were hiccups along the way, but he made it. Then the thought that he'd step into the working world hit.
The transition from student to working person wasn't that big a jolt for me, perhaps because I was already doing part time work that was essentially what I ended up doing after my 'studies'. I realise that the work environment for most fields of study is quite different and it takes some getting used to. I'm blessed with what I do - I've been anticipating the same for as long as I can remember. I wonder at how Kor will adjust to such a different work environment from what he has been used to all these years of study.
My brother made it. All of a sudden, these 'adult' decisions start to become more real. I don't know what is out there but I'm thankful that he gets to move to the next stage. As he prepares for his interviews and (hopefully) moves into a new place by the end of the week, I start to reflect on and appreciate the relationships that I built while I was there in LL.
My brother has got friends, don't get me wrong. Me? This oddball made friends. This oddball found a family. This oddball also got found. This oddball grew to love LL.
My time in LL certainly made me grow and mature. I'm starting to get restless where I am now. I believe that there are times when we have to step away to heal and to regroup and restrategise. That time came, and is, but I find myself straining forward.
Perhaps September will bring new things?
I spent the weekend away from here because my brother graduated. Yup. He made it. And I am an extremely proud sister. I'm really happy that he made it.
Sometimes I feel it's odd because I seem to be a little bit ahead of him. I don't mean that in a bad way - let me try to clarify a little. I left home for LL to join the rat race and pursue further studies and all that. I remember walking in to the finance office of his uni one day because he needed to make a payment prior to his being physically there. The finance officer was nice, and he ended up asking me if I was the elder sister. I smiled and responded with a negative. At that time, I was just a younger sister, proud of her brother.
Kor has always been closer to my heart than my other siblings. Maybe it's because we are but a year apart, perhaps it's because mum and dad used to put him in charge of me. Whatever it was, I love him. And I'm proud of him.
As I sat in the auditorium, getting misty eyed one too many times, I was filled with this overwhelming sense of pride that my brother made it. The others in his cohort were just names. But my brother? He made it. It was difficult, it was stressful. There were hiccups along the way, but he made it. Then the thought that he'd step into the working world hit.
The transition from student to working person wasn't that big a jolt for me, perhaps because I was already doing part time work that was essentially what I ended up doing after my 'studies'. I realise that the work environment for most fields of study is quite different and it takes some getting used to. I'm blessed with what I do - I've been anticipating the same for as long as I can remember. I wonder at how Kor will adjust to such a different work environment from what he has been used to all these years of study.
My brother made it. All of a sudden, these 'adult' decisions start to become more real. I don't know what is out there but I'm thankful that he gets to move to the next stage. As he prepares for his interviews and (hopefully) moves into a new place by the end of the week, I start to reflect on and appreciate the relationships that I built while I was there in LL.
My brother has got friends, don't get me wrong. Me? This oddball made friends. This oddball found a family. This oddball also got found. This oddball grew to love LL.
My time in LL certainly made me grow and mature. I'm starting to get restless where I am now. I believe that there are times when we have to step away to heal and to regroup and restrategise. That time came, and is, but I find myself straining forward.
Perhaps September will bring new things?
Friday, July 31, 2015
It's the end of the month!
July.
So my blog apparently still has readers(?) and I'm still supposed to do the a-post-a-month thing. Hmm.
It's been an interesting month, I suppose. I got to meet with my Filipino Momma after four years, and she says she's finally going to make good on her promise to take me to the Philippines with her. I got to meet the country's tfarcdnuoS ambassador and we had a good chat about live mixing. He's a cool, radical guy. There was the other radical guy who advocates people actually living out what the Bible says and not merely 'doing church' (yes, he doesn't 'go to church'). There was the arrival of the fountain pens and the writing of the letter with the fountain pen (inks are next! Whee~~).
I am thankful for sound engineers.
Sound. Live sound. Recording sound.
Live sound has me really really interested. It's problem-solving and producing results on the spot. An engineer cannot make a musician/singer sound good in live sound if there's no base to work with. In the studio, one beefs up and polishes and fine tunes - and the result could be something that's completely different from the original, unmastered cut. One of my students asked me why I don't listen to a lot of current pop music. There are a number of reasons, and that's another writeup for another time, but in a nutshell - monotonous melodies, empty lyrics, jarring accompaniment. These are my own opinions, please feel free to disagree.
I think back to that one time I got to do studio stuff. I probably had over 20 takes for a simple 16-bar doodle. The reason was simple. Although this guy did recording sound for a living, he wanted to go with one complete take rather than a spliced version of all the good bits only. We had a chat and I was pretty thrilled as it was one of my first times being part of a project like that. We listened to the playbacks of what was recorded and scrutinised little details. The goal was to get a close-to-perfect take. Listening to the final product, I'm glad he didn't lay on the editing so thick that I sounded not like myself (of course there's the self-bashing that almost every musician has the misfortune to make a habit).
Just a few years later, I start exploring and learning about live sound. I get the opportunity to meet people, learn about different features on different boards, tfarcdnuoS in particular, talk about the different preferences that people have. I used to think that a good pair of over-the-ears was essential, but different engineers are helping me realise that you should always depend on YOUR ears. It's not a matter of which headphones sound the best, because let's face it, the collective crowd is not relying on headphones that cost thousands of dollars. Sure, they're useful if we're trying to isolate a problem or tweak one's EQ, but for the most part, they're really not necessary.
The whole reason I got interested in sound engineering goes back to a statement that someone made. I cannot recall the exact wording of the statement, but basically - don't demand for results if you cannot understand the process or its limitations. It applies to more than just sound engineering. There are always musicians who throw around phrases like 'give me more reverb' without fully grasping the function of reverb. There are always musicians who refuse to use in-ear monitors and demand for more sound on their stage monitors (a nightmare when you have a small premise, simply because - hello overflow!). Don't make the sound engineer mad. Something that's been drilled into me since orchestra days.
During the three-day conference earlier this month, I met some amazing musicians, and strangely enough, the ones who were making the most demands on our poor sound engineer were those who knew the least about the whole process. There are ways to ask and then there are ways to ask. Working with the father-and-son team was great for me because they were simply amazing. They were quick to solve problems, extremely willing to share their expertise and they were ALERT THE WHOLE TIME. There were moments where there were just a couple of instruments playing or simply just voice and effects were added to enhance or to create an ambience. It is pretty darn amazing how competent they are.
Sound engineers are probably one of the most under-appreciated people in the industry. That should NOT be the case. So here's a shout-out to all the sound engineers out there - for what it's worth, I really really really appreciate the work you guys do. I'm sorry for the times I have been unreasonable - I am guilty of that too. Look me up, and I'd buy you a coffee. Or bake you a cake. Or a pastry.
So my blog apparently still has readers(?) and I'm still supposed to do the a-post-a-month thing. Hmm.
It's been an interesting month, I suppose. I got to meet with my Filipino Momma after four years, and she says she's finally going to make good on her promise to take me to the Philippines with her. I got to meet the country's tfarcdnuoS ambassador and we had a good chat about live mixing. He's a cool, radical guy. There was the other radical guy who advocates people actually living out what the Bible says and not merely 'doing church' (yes, he doesn't 'go to church'). There was the arrival of the fountain pens and the writing of the letter with the fountain pen (inks are next! Whee~~).
I am thankful for sound engineers.
Sound. Live sound. Recording sound.
Live sound has me really really interested. It's problem-solving and producing results on the spot. An engineer cannot make a musician/singer sound good in live sound if there's no base to work with. In the studio, one beefs up and polishes and fine tunes - and the result could be something that's completely different from the original, unmastered cut. One of my students asked me why I don't listen to a lot of current pop music. There are a number of reasons, and that's another writeup for another time, but in a nutshell - monotonous melodies, empty lyrics, jarring accompaniment. These are my own opinions, please feel free to disagree.
I think back to that one time I got to do studio stuff. I probably had over 20 takes for a simple 16-bar doodle. The reason was simple. Although this guy did recording sound for a living, he wanted to go with one complete take rather than a spliced version of all the good bits only. We had a chat and I was pretty thrilled as it was one of my first times being part of a project like that. We listened to the playbacks of what was recorded and scrutinised little details. The goal was to get a close-to-perfect take. Listening to the final product, I'm glad he didn't lay on the editing so thick that I sounded not like myself (of course there's the self-bashing that almost every musician has the misfortune to make a habit).
Just a few years later, I start exploring and learning about live sound. I get the opportunity to meet people, learn about different features on different boards, tfarcdnuoS in particular, talk about the different preferences that people have. I used to think that a good pair of over-the-ears was essential, but different engineers are helping me realise that you should always depend on YOUR ears. It's not a matter of which headphones sound the best, because let's face it, the collective crowd is not relying on headphones that cost thousands of dollars. Sure, they're useful if we're trying to isolate a problem or tweak one's EQ, but for the most part, they're really not necessary.
The whole reason I got interested in sound engineering goes back to a statement that someone made. I cannot recall the exact wording of the statement, but basically - don't demand for results if you cannot understand the process or its limitations. It applies to more than just sound engineering. There are always musicians who throw around phrases like 'give me more reverb' without fully grasping the function of reverb. There are always musicians who refuse to use in-ear monitors and demand for more sound on their stage monitors (a nightmare when you have a small premise, simply because - hello overflow!). Don't make the sound engineer mad. Something that's been drilled into me since orchestra days.
During the three-day conference earlier this month, I met some amazing musicians, and strangely enough, the ones who were making the most demands on our poor sound engineer were those who knew the least about the whole process. There are ways to ask and then there are ways to ask. Working with the father-and-son team was great for me because they were simply amazing. They were quick to solve problems, extremely willing to share their expertise and they were ALERT THE WHOLE TIME. There were moments where there were just a couple of instruments playing or simply just voice and effects were added to enhance or to create an ambience. It is pretty darn amazing how competent they are.
Sound engineers are probably one of the most under-appreciated people in the industry. That should NOT be the case. So here's a shout-out to all the sound engineers out there - for what it's worth, I really really really appreciate the work you guys do. I'm sorry for the times I have been unreasonable - I am guilty of that too. Look me up, and I'd buy you a coffee. Or bake you a cake. Or a pastry.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Musings in June~
I am thankful for people in my life who take the time to get to know me and who continue to inspire me.
It's been an interesting month so far.
It started with the whole one and a half weeks leading up to the two-year anniversary of the celebration of Kak Y's life. It was a difficult time, but I tried to think of the legacy she left behind and the people she loved. She was loved. Still is. I miss her.
Life had to go on though, and from the previous post, we know I picked up crocheting. I've had this amazing individual who stepped into my life in a bigger role than he had taken for the past five years - he's been causing the churning of ideas. It started out as a silly little idea where I wanted to crochet an octopus using the balance of the yarn I had from the Stuffie project.
On April the 29th, as I was trying to work out the pattern into a more readable/understandable format, I came across this pattern for a tiny octopus measuring about 4cm across. I picked up my hook and started on it and in under an hour, came up with an adorable-looking octopus. I made another one (the pattern source said they were stackable! I had to test that out, right?) and lo and behold, stackable they were! There was a problem - they had frilly legs, not tentacles. I paid for a pattern with variations, downloaded the .pdf, and started experimenting.
Two days later, a lightbulb went off in my head as I was crocheting and chatting with the very same dear friend who now takes care of Stuffie. The Takoyarnies. That was what I was going to call them. It's funny and witty and absolutely adorable. (To you who know who you are that I am referring to - yes, it's adorable and don't you try to dispute it.)
I got more yarn of different colours, and from just one pattern, decided that I was going to have variations to my Takoyarnie Army and work up to a number large enough that they would look amazing when lined up in rows. Plus one sotong.
Long story short, I got 11 colours, made three octopi in 10 out of the 11 colours, and two sotongs out of the remaining one colour. I stitched little bead eyes on all 30 'yarnies, and stuck crazy eyes on the 2 sotongs - 'Tongs for short. All of them went in a small bag that went into my bigger bag and we took a trip down to where Stuffie made its home.
Stuffie's pretty glad to have more company now, and though nothing has happened yet, there are rumours that invasion will start soon, on a small scale at first and then - well. Rumours are but rumours, no?
On a different note, something new's started. Yeah sure. One can argue that it was back in January (or November). No, it wasn't an explosion or great big drama or anything like that. In fact, it feels really natural and comfortable. It feels nice. I now have a hand to hold and someone I can lean on.
Thank you for being willing to take a chance on me.
*photo courtesy of him who was willing to take a chance on this crazy lady.
It's been an interesting month so far.
It started with the whole one and a half weeks leading up to the two-year anniversary of the celebration of Kak Y's life. It was a difficult time, but I tried to think of the legacy she left behind and the people she loved. She was loved. Still is. I miss her.
Life had to go on though, and from the previous post, we know I picked up crocheting. I've had this amazing individual who stepped into my life in a bigger role than he had taken for the past five years - he's been causing the churning of ideas. It started out as a silly little idea where I wanted to crochet an octopus using the balance of the yarn I had from the Stuffie project.
On April the 29th, as I was trying to work out the pattern into a more readable/understandable format, I came across this pattern for a tiny octopus measuring about 4cm across. I picked up my hook and started on it and in under an hour, came up with an adorable-looking octopus. I made another one (the pattern source said they were stackable! I had to test that out, right?) and lo and behold, stackable they were! There was a problem - they had frilly legs, not tentacles. I paid for a pattern with variations, downloaded the .pdf, and started experimenting.
Two days later, a lightbulb went off in my head as I was crocheting and chatting with the very same dear friend who now takes care of Stuffie. The Takoyarnies. That was what I was going to call them. It's funny and witty and absolutely adorable. (To you who know who you are that I am referring to - yes, it's adorable and don't you try to dispute it.)
I got more yarn of different colours, and from just one pattern, decided that I was going to have variations to my Takoyarnie Army and work up to a number large enough that they would look amazing when lined up in rows. Plus one sotong.
Long story short, I got 11 colours, made three octopi in 10 out of the 11 colours, and two sotongs out of the remaining one colour. I stitched little bead eyes on all 30 'yarnies, and stuck crazy eyes on the 2 sotongs - 'Tongs for short. All of them went in a small bag that went into my bigger bag and we took a trip down to where Stuffie made its home.
Look at them! They're adorable!
Stuffie's pretty glad to have more company now, and though nothing has happened yet, there are rumours that invasion will start soon, on a small scale at first and then - well. Rumours are but rumours, no?
On a different note, something new's started. Yeah sure. One can argue that it was back in January (or November). No, it wasn't an explosion or great big drama or anything like that. In fact, it feels really natural and comfortable. It feels nice. I now have a hand to hold and someone I can lean on.
Thank you for being willing to take a chance on me.
*photo courtesy of him who was willing to take a chance on this crazy lady.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
The Voyage
It started with a knot. And a chain - and I was off to my first needlecraft project after a long long time.
The problem with me is that I see something and I decide - I want to make that. I'm going to make that. Maybe that's not the issue. The real issue is that I don't really want to take time to learn and master the basics, I just want dive in.
I delayed for a bit...took my time looking for the yarn and the other supplies I needed, getting up the nerve to start, knowing how I like to 'get on with it'. Finally though, I had a cause to make this for. I had someone in mind. And so it began.
Dear little Stuffie was the result of my endeavours and just recently, Stuffie got to go on a voyage.
Into the box little Stuffie hopped,
cushioned with peanuts and wrap that popped!
(The peanuts, of course, were the sort
of peanuts one could not just chomp)
All snuggly, tucked in, little Stuffie yawned
And closed its eyes to wait for dawn
Dawn took some time before it came;
Then little Stuffie went on its way!
The voyage stretched for many a day
with knocks and bumps along the way.
Whispers in the dark, stories shared
with parcels of all sizes - the little ones got scared.
Cold, alone, and feeling some fright,
Little Stuffie longed for the light.
And then finally there was a knock
'Sign here, ma'am, and here's your box'
The lady looked down, brows furrowed, but then
Signed on the form with a pen.
She put the parcel on the table
To wait for for the rightful owner's arrival.
She eyed the parcel suspiciously
And wondered of its origins - quite naturally.
On that table little Stuffie stayed
Keeping extra quiet, just in case.
Then a deep voice brought Stuffie awake
And left warm fuzzies in its wake!
Already little Stuffie felt like he
'Would surely come to care for me!'
He decided to wait on the mystery
Of what little Stuffie just might be.
Little Stuffie waited impatiently
As the voyage continued to its home-to-be.
The time came and the light streamed in
Little Stuffie was liberated from the dim!
"Colonel Stuffie, I dub thee
With Trusty Chompy - your loyal steed!"
Stuffie did the binky, as little bunnies do,
And wriggled its nose for a nuzzle too.
That was bad. But I tried! Have a picture of Colonel Stuffie and Trusty Chompy the loyal steed! Yes, they're zooming around the desk when no one's about. They make quite a pair!
"Psst Chompy -" said Stuffie, "I think they're gone!
C'mon let's go! To infinity and beyond!"
The problem with me is that I see something and I decide - I want to make that. I'm going to make that. Maybe that's not the issue. The real issue is that I don't really want to take time to learn and master the basics, I just want dive in.
I delayed for a bit...took my time looking for the yarn and the other supplies I needed, getting up the nerve to start, knowing how I like to 'get on with it'. Finally though, I had a cause to make this for. I had someone in mind. And so it began.
Dear little Stuffie was the result of my endeavours and just recently, Stuffie got to go on a voyage.
Into the box little Stuffie hopped,
cushioned with peanuts and wrap that popped!
(The peanuts, of course, were the sort
of peanuts one could not just chomp)
All snuggly, tucked in, little Stuffie yawned
And closed its eyes to wait for dawn
Dawn took some time before it came;
Then little Stuffie went on its way!
The voyage stretched for many a day
with knocks and bumps along the way.
Whispers in the dark, stories shared
with parcels of all sizes - the little ones got scared.
Cold, alone, and feeling some fright,
Little Stuffie longed for the light.
And then finally there was a knock
'Sign here, ma'am, and here's your box'
The lady looked down, brows furrowed, but then
Signed on the form with a pen.
She put the parcel on the table
To wait for for the rightful owner's arrival.
She eyed the parcel suspiciously
And wondered of its origins - quite naturally.
On that table little Stuffie stayed
Keeping extra quiet, just in case.
Then a deep voice brought Stuffie awake
And left warm fuzzies in its wake!
Already little Stuffie felt like he
'Would surely come to care for me!'
He decided to wait on the mystery
Of what little Stuffie just might be.
Little Stuffie waited impatiently
As the voyage continued to its home-to-be.
The time came and the light streamed in
Little Stuffie was liberated from the dim!
"Colonel Stuffie, I dub thee
With Trusty Chompy - your loyal steed!"
Stuffie did the binky, as little bunnies do,
And wriggled its nose for a nuzzle too.
That was bad. But I tried! Have a picture of Colonel Stuffie and Trusty Chompy the loyal steed! Yes, they're zooming around the desk when no one's about. They make quite a pair!
 |
| Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~ |
"Psst Chompy -" said Stuffie, "I think they're gone!
C'mon let's go! To infinity and beyond!"
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Pop?
I am thankful that the lessons were all pretty much already planned for me because I cannot imagine having to write lesson plans. I do still have to execute the lessons and make adjustments here and there, but the what to teach is pretty much mapped out for me in enough detail.
Now here's that word we all don't like to hear. For the vast majority of the time. BUT -
There's that one song that talks about what it feels like when you're on the other side of the window, looking inside. That's what I feel like. I don't think I'm depressed - I haven't quite come to that state yet. But really, The way things are run, the way things are done - and my role in all of these. I'm not asking for much, just to understand what's going enough so I know how to plan. Enough info so that I don't have to scramble to find things out when parents email me asking about tests and field trips and so on and so forth.
Are parents nowadays overprotective or am I now simply on the receiving end of things the way they have always been?
I'm not equipped or trained to handle all this. I'm finding out about things last minute. I still have yet to successfully adjust to the way things work around here. The perspective of education is so different from what I am used to, and the incident just a week ago probably shook things up more than I'd like to admit, and this week has gotten a lot more intense. Snowballed? Avalanched? I don't know.
I took up some form of needlecraft earlier this year, and that has helped keep me sane during my three weeks here - to a certain degree. I'd like to actually talk to someone about all this stuff that's going on in my head. It's been a difficult week, despite my resolve to have a better week. This week, I've had my share of tears in the classroom when none of the kids or the other teachers are around. I wonder if I made my teachers cry.
It's seeming to get more difficult as things crop up at the last minute and I'm forced to put my music teaching aside, whether it is for activities where my attendance is required in school, or just for the lack of energy to deal with more people. I go home and just want to have quiet moments. But that's kind of impossible for me to do because hey, there are things that need to be done to contribute to the family. The pressure is rising and I feel like the pressure cooker that exploded on mum. Not to the point of exploding just yet, but if I don't let out the pressure slowly...that's bound to happen. Pretty soon.
This is only the end of week three. I have another four weeks to go. Boy oh boy.
If only for the sake of ending this post a little upbeat - my parcel got to its destination safely and my first needlecraft project of this sort was well-received. Yay~
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Playlist7
Some days I don't feel like trying, some days I want to just give up.
It has been an extremely tough week. Two weeks, even. Looking ahead to the week that is to come, I don't know what to expect anymore.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
Did I do the right thing?
My stand is justified. It doesn't mean though that I'd break my commitment. A commitment, once made, should be followed through till the end. I'd talk to someone about it but I don't know how.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
Have I missed out on what could have been the open door?
Exciting things happened today, but perhaps as the day draws to a close, the unfortunate events overshadow the little way ahead I have come. Two little steps forward, halted by...I don't even know anymore.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
I don't want a pity party. I want this to turn around. Soon. Really really soon.
It's a Playlist7 kind of night. Hello '70s and Sugarland.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. Not necessarily how I had wanted to, but hey. It's out there now. I can breathe easier. Maybe.
It has been an extremely tough week. Two weeks, even. Looking ahead to the week that is to come, I don't know what to expect anymore.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
Did I do the right thing?
My stand is justified. It doesn't mean though that I'd break my commitment. A commitment, once made, should be followed through till the end. I'd talk to someone about it but I don't know how.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
Have I missed out on what could have been the open door?
Exciting things happened today, but perhaps as the day draws to a close, the unfortunate events overshadow the little way ahead I have come. Two little steps forward, halted by...I don't even know anymore.
Words unformed, hope forlorn.
I don't want a pity party. I want this to turn around. Soon. Really really soon.
It's a Playlist7 kind of night. Hello '70s and Sugarland.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. Not necessarily how I had wanted to, but hey. It's out there now. I can breathe easier. Maybe.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Hash time.
I'm thankful for the job I have :)
In just short of a weeks' time, I'll be starting temporarily 'full-time-ish' with this school I've been with as a substitute teacher. Just for eight weeks. It's a position that I'd never dreamed of having, mostly because I don't want to be tied down to a school syllabus. Nonetheless, I'm truly looking forward to this as a learning experience. Another deep end of the pool thing for me. (I seem to have a penchant for attracting situations of this nature.) At the same time, I'm glad this is not a permanent thing.
Teaching music independently is very very different. The majority of people don't understand why - to them it's all still teaching, right? While that's true, it's more the circumstances that are different. I had the opportunity last week to chat with a friend who's also having to explain and defend why she is not wanting to take up a different full-time-ish teaching position at an education centre. This gal and I - we sing the same tune.
It's simple, really, but only if you see it from the same viewpoint. I don't know if we're just odd for taking this angle of if others truly cannot comprehend. Then again, I'm odd. And weird. And eccentric. So read on if you will, stop here if you're just looking to argue and bash me down.
If I were to take a teaching job at an education centre, I would have things like lesson plans, curriculum meetings, an HOD to report to (oh, and all the higher-ups from there on up), reports to write, lots and lots and lots of marking to do (it's difficult enough for me to adjust to this system where I can't outrightly mark the student wrong) - the list goes on.
Then you tell me that I can take the job because hey, all my music students come in the afternoon...right? The thing is, with all this planning and marking and meetings...will I actually have enough energy to teach late into the evenings? You tell me that by taking this position I put myself out there and more people will know me so I'll inadvertently gain more students - hold up. If I had more students on top of this teaching position, where on earth am I going to find the time to slot them in? How sustainable do you think this will end up being in the long run?
Now read that, and then look at this.
As an independent music tutor, I still get the perks of journeying with the kids - and even some adult-esque students. I get to choose my own times, and maintain a fairly flexible schedule. I still get the perks of watching students achieve little goals. At the same time, I have the freedom to tap on each students' strength and use various methods to tackle the weaknesses of the same. I'm not constricted by time and a syllabus that says I have to teach 'all that' in the span of three months, five months, or even an entire school year. I tell my kids (yes, this is how I think of them affectionately) that it's okay if they take a little longer on the foundations. There are times I tell kids to leave a piece alone and not touch it for a week or two. I get uninterrupted one-on-one time with the kid and we get to do some pretty crazy things with music and flute playing. We get to rock out cute little duets and listen for harmonies. We get to do long tones for the entire lesson - and then when all the proper foundations are set, we can set targets, be they marked by repertoire, or overcoming performance anxieties and the like.
There are little pockets of time when my kids share their struggles in school with me, or when they just ask me silly questions. They may get distracted, but at the end of the day, what I find rewarding is that each of them have their own unique individual journeys and I get to be part of that on a closer level than what I would have teaching a class of 16 kids.
I was never a great student - I was lazy. But my flute tutor found a way to tap on my inner student and she really took time to bring the best out in me. I vaguely recall the times when she'd push me till I cried, but more vividly, I remember her walking with me, I remember the times when she'd just hang out with me and share parts of her life when she was learning the flute, or even when she was a music student with me.
She went the extra mile, and she taught me to love playing the flute. She taught me to be a musician, and not just one who attempted to play the notes off of a page. She showed me firsthand what a tutor should be. The amazing lady that she is.
For that, I am forever grateful to her and only hope that I am able to take after her example, and come even remotely close to being who she was to me, to my kids.
A bit of the random: Poke me, I'll deflate. Wanna take a guess?
In just short of a weeks' time, I'll be starting temporarily 'full-time-ish' with this school I've been with as a substitute teacher. Just for eight weeks. It's a position that I'd never dreamed of having, mostly because I don't want to be tied down to a school syllabus. Nonetheless, I'm truly looking forward to this as a learning experience. Another deep end of the pool thing for me. (I seem to have a penchant for attracting situations of this nature.) At the same time, I'm glad this is not a permanent thing.
Teaching music independently is very very different. The majority of people don't understand why - to them it's all still teaching, right? While that's true, it's more the circumstances that are different. I had the opportunity last week to chat with a friend who's also having to explain and defend why she is not wanting to take up a different full-time-ish teaching position at an education centre. This gal and I - we sing the same tune.
It's simple, really, but only if you see it from the same viewpoint. I don't know if we're just odd for taking this angle of if others truly cannot comprehend. Then again, I'm odd. And weird. And eccentric. So read on if you will, stop here if you're just looking to argue and bash me down.
If I were to take a teaching job at an education centre, I would have things like lesson plans, curriculum meetings, an HOD to report to (oh, and all the higher-ups from there on up), reports to write, lots and lots and lots of marking to do (it's difficult enough for me to adjust to this system where I can't outrightly mark the student wrong) - the list goes on.
Then you tell me that I can take the job because hey, all my music students come in the afternoon...right? The thing is, with all this planning and marking and meetings...will I actually have enough energy to teach late into the evenings? You tell me that by taking this position I put myself out there and more people will know me so I'll inadvertently gain more students - hold up. If I had more students on top of this teaching position, where on earth am I going to find the time to slot them in? How sustainable do you think this will end up being in the long run?
Now read that, and then look at this.
As an independent music tutor, I still get the perks of journeying with the kids - and even some adult-esque students. I get to choose my own times, and maintain a fairly flexible schedule. I still get the perks of watching students achieve little goals. At the same time, I have the freedom to tap on each students' strength and use various methods to tackle the weaknesses of the same. I'm not constricted by time and a syllabus that says I have to teach 'all that' in the span of three months, five months, or even an entire school year. I tell my kids (yes, this is how I think of them affectionately) that it's okay if they take a little longer on the foundations. There are times I tell kids to leave a piece alone and not touch it for a week or two. I get uninterrupted one-on-one time with the kid and we get to do some pretty crazy things with music and flute playing. We get to rock out cute little duets and listen for harmonies. We get to do long tones for the entire lesson - and then when all the proper foundations are set, we can set targets, be they marked by repertoire, or overcoming performance anxieties and the like.
There are little pockets of time when my kids share their struggles in school with me, or when they just ask me silly questions. They may get distracted, but at the end of the day, what I find rewarding is that each of them have their own unique individual journeys and I get to be part of that on a closer level than what I would have teaching a class of 16 kids.
I was never a great student - I was lazy. But my flute tutor found a way to tap on my inner student and she really took time to bring the best out in me. I vaguely recall the times when she'd push me till I cried, but more vividly, I remember her walking with me, I remember the times when she'd just hang out with me and share parts of her life when she was learning the flute, or even when she was a music student with me.
She went the extra mile, and she taught me to love playing the flute. She taught me to be a musician, and not just one who attempted to play the notes off of a page. She showed me firsthand what a tutor should be. The amazing lady that she is.
For that, I am forever grateful to her and only hope that I am able to take after her example, and come even remotely close to being who she was to me, to my kids.
A bit of the random: Poke me, I'll deflate. Wanna take a guess?
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Mushrooms!
I thank the Lord for mushrooms!
Mushrooms are amazing. And they're so good. Judge me if you must - and yes, I know that not everyone likes the earthy-slightly chewy character that mushrooms add to a dish. But I like them. Especially when they're done right. So juicy and succulent.
I remember first having marinated mushrooms the day I arrived in KSL - Aunty E had picked me up at the airport and after we dropped my bags back at the condo, we headed to the little café she owned. The chef made me a sandwich for lunch. It was a chicken salad sandwich on freshly baked walnut bread, and the chicken salad was topped with half a baked herbed tomato, sliced marinated mushrooms, pickled Japanese cucumbers and half a carmelised onion, . My very first 'gourmet sandwich'. There was a side of salad, but meh. As the days went by, that became my go-to sandwich each time I was there. They'd pile on the mushrooms even without me asking. After a week or so, I got my hands on one of their mushroom puffs. Kind of like the curry puffs I'm so used to, only bigger, and filled with marinated mushrooms before they were baked. I couldn't understand why they didn't sell out the minute they came out of the oven. But hey, that meant I got to have a couple. So that was a good thing...right?
One morning, I tagged along for Aunty E's marketing run. At her veggie supplier's stall, I was greeted by cartons of fresh white button mushrooms. I remember gingerly picking one up and bringing it close to inhale its earthy scent, feeling its soft silkiness. That was the day Aunty E taught me to select mushrooms.
From there, the mushroom swiss became my favourite BK burger, and I'd go for almost any pasta al funghi. Or any cheese bake with mushrooms in it. The discovery of the mushroom and caesar chicken wrap had me wanting to make my own, and so out came research mode and the journey to the best ever marinated mushrooms. Again, this is subjective. I won't judge you for not sharing the same opinion. There was the research done on the caesar dressing too, and I eventually found one that I really liked. I just didn't make it all that often because to me, the mushrooms made all the difference in that wrap.
Then there are the delightful little hors d'œuvres that I got to sample during that brief two-day stint as an amateur barista. Chef A, to whom I accredit part of my keen interest in French patisserie to, made a varied selection of canapés and those were sold to the guests and artists alike during that one event. Stuffed mushroom caps, bruschetta that was topped with marinated mushrooms and a little salsa and the lightest sprinkle of parmesan...and so on. It was also during this event that Chef A started sharing more of his knowledge with me, beyond just the few pastry and other dessert selections we had at the café. That was when the troubleshooting really began. Some said he was temperamental, difficult to get along with, but with me, he has been ever willing to share and advise, to brainstorm and create. Chef's a cool guy. I'm thankful for him :)
Breaded mushrooms. Little golden deep fried wonders. Done right, they are crunchy on the outside and then tender and juicy on the inside. Couple that with a slightly spicy dip and you're good to go - well to be honest, I normally don't even get to the dip. They are so good on their own! Portabellos are great for this, or we could go with the Taiwan street food variation with the batter-fried oyster or straw mushrooms tossed in spicy-salty goodness post-fry. (Tip: eat them with no utensils, because you get to lick the yumminess off after!) Back to portabellos though, there have also been some good memories shared with various friends over deep fried breaded portabellos on various occasions. There's also nothing like a tastefully grilled portabello topping a well seasoned ground beef patty. The kind you can only get when you make it with experience.
At the risk of being labeled long-winded, I'm going to venture into one more faucet of mushrooms...the chinese mushrooms. The dried sort. Soak them and make mushroom stew. Stew them for hours. Or soak them and throw them into bak kut teh over a slow fire, let that simmer. Slice them up and put them in mixed veg stir-frys, or chop them up and mix that into the meat mixture that one stuffs into potstickers.
Mushrooms are versatile. Okay maybe they are not the most versatile ingredient, but I really really really really really like mushrooms. I also really like potatoes. And rice. Rice shouldn't be a side dish...in most situations. Rawr. To each their own.
Mushrooms are amazing. And they're so good. Judge me if you must - and yes, I know that not everyone likes the earthy-slightly chewy character that mushrooms add to a dish. But I like them. Especially when they're done right. So juicy and succulent.
I remember first having marinated mushrooms the day I arrived in KSL - Aunty E had picked me up at the airport and after we dropped my bags back at the condo, we headed to the little café she owned. The chef made me a sandwich for lunch. It was a chicken salad sandwich on freshly baked walnut bread, and the chicken salad was topped with half a baked herbed tomato, sliced marinated mushrooms, pickled Japanese cucumbers and half a carmelised onion, . My very first 'gourmet sandwich'. There was a side of salad, but meh. As the days went by, that became my go-to sandwich each time I was there. They'd pile on the mushrooms even without me asking. After a week or so, I got my hands on one of their mushroom puffs. Kind of like the curry puffs I'm so used to, only bigger, and filled with marinated mushrooms before they were baked. I couldn't understand why they didn't sell out the minute they came out of the oven. But hey, that meant I got to have a couple. So that was a good thing...right?
One morning, I tagged along for Aunty E's marketing run. At her veggie supplier's stall, I was greeted by cartons of fresh white button mushrooms. I remember gingerly picking one up and bringing it close to inhale its earthy scent, feeling its soft silkiness. That was the day Aunty E taught me to select mushrooms.
From there, the mushroom swiss became my favourite BK burger, and I'd go for almost any pasta al funghi. Or any cheese bake with mushrooms in it. The discovery of the mushroom and caesar chicken wrap had me wanting to make my own, and so out came research mode and the journey to the best ever marinated mushrooms. Again, this is subjective. I won't judge you for not sharing the same opinion. There was the research done on the caesar dressing too, and I eventually found one that I really liked. I just didn't make it all that often because to me, the mushrooms made all the difference in that wrap.
Then there are the delightful little hors d'œuvres that I got to sample during that brief two-day stint as an amateur barista. Chef A, to whom I accredit part of my keen interest in French patisserie to, made a varied selection of canapés and those were sold to the guests and artists alike during that one event. Stuffed mushroom caps, bruschetta that was topped with marinated mushrooms and a little salsa and the lightest sprinkle of parmesan...and so on. It was also during this event that Chef A started sharing more of his knowledge with me, beyond just the few pastry and other dessert selections we had at the café. That was when the troubleshooting really began. Some said he was temperamental, difficult to get along with, but with me, he has been ever willing to share and advise, to brainstorm and create. Chef's a cool guy. I'm thankful for him :)
Breaded mushrooms. Little golden deep fried wonders. Done right, they are crunchy on the outside and then tender and juicy on the inside. Couple that with a slightly spicy dip and you're good to go - well to be honest, I normally don't even get to the dip. They are so good on their own! Portabellos are great for this, or we could go with the Taiwan street food variation with the batter-fried oyster or straw mushrooms tossed in spicy-salty goodness post-fry. (Tip: eat them with no utensils, because you get to lick the yumminess off after!) Back to portabellos though, there have also been some good memories shared with various friends over deep fried breaded portabellos on various occasions. There's also nothing like a tastefully grilled portabello topping a well seasoned ground beef patty. The kind you can only get when you make it with experience.
At the risk of being labeled long-winded, I'm going to venture into one more faucet of mushrooms...the chinese mushrooms. The dried sort. Soak them and make mushroom stew. Stew them for hours. Or soak them and throw them into bak kut teh over a slow fire, let that simmer. Slice them up and put them in mixed veg stir-frys, or chop them up and mix that into the meat mixture that one stuffs into potstickers.
Mushrooms are versatile. Okay maybe they are not the most versatile ingredient, but I really really really really really like mushrooms. I also really like potatoes. And rice. Rice shouldn't be a side dish...in most situations. Rawr. To each their own.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Go, little plane, go!
Go, little plane, go!
Spread your wings and soar
Till you're a blip in the sky -
but keep safe that love of mine.
Go, little plane, go!
Alas! I cannot rhyme -
Aiyo. I'll just pick you up on the map and take a second to move you 10cm and you're there la. Hou mou?
Spread your wings and soar
Till you're a blip in the sky -
but keep safe that love of mine.
Go, little plane, go!
Alas! I cannot rhyme -
Aiyo. I'll just pick you up on the map and take a second to move you 10cm and you're there la. Hou mou?
Monday, March 2, 2015
Not too far gone~~~
I thank God for times like this when He reassures me that I'm not too far gone.
I've always felt less than my siblings. They're all academically inclined - brilliant individuals. Me? A non-graduate, non-scholarship holder, my highest qualification being high school. I moved down to the second class in my two final years in high school. I was an average student. Still am...maybe?
Over the past week it's been up and down. Then I remembered something the Baby-Sister-Growing-Up-To-Be-Pretty-Wise (See? How to compare like that...) said. She picked this up somewhere - On a heart monitor, the lines go up and down. So if you don't have ups and downs in life, you'd be dead.
Without the downs...I wouldn't have settled on my newly favourited 3-in-1 coffee so yeah, something good came out of that. Tsk. It's not all about the coffee (though it was nice to have AC who I got to enjoy a cuppa with at the end of my day in school today).
My firstvictim casualty was had yesterday. There was such a sense of accomplishment as I worked on the poor abused dear because I managed to make things better! It felt nice and professional to set up my work station and maintain the tidy as I worked, and it took me a little over an hour to get things to my satisfaction and put something I had learnt into practice. The tools from JLS, my notes from the repair course organised by ST/MG/WW. I'm looking forward to more of these cases! It's neat how I may not be great when it comes to acads but I have the hands for these fixer-upper things. Maybe it's God's way of teaching me that things end up balancing out?
I've always felt less than my siblings. They're all academically inclined - brilliant individuals. Me? A non-graduate, non-scholarship holder, my highest qualification being high school. I moved down to the second class in my two final years in high school. I was an average student. Still am...maybe?
Over the past week it's been up and down. Then I remembered something the Baby-Sister-Growing-Up-To-Be-Pretty-Wise (See? How to compare like that...) said. She picked this up somewhere - On a heart monitor, the lines go up and down. So if you don't have ups and downs in life, you'd be dead.
My first
The workstation!
Monday, February 16, 2015
The blessing of cultural diversity :)
The Lord has blessed me with such richness of culture!
Growing up, I was first surrounded by lots of people from out of the country. I grew to love hearing their stories and would perk up and be the first at the door to shyly welcome new folks. The family spoke English - because the standard was that everyone understood and spoke English. Then we moved to a land with over 70 different people groups and counting.
The costumes, the language, the people. I think back of the little clique we had back in high school Kak A, Nellie, Tiff, Ran and myself. Even earlier to Syl, Lyn and Sia - the blend of our cultures never got in the way of our friendship. I thank the Lord for each and every one of you and the spice you girls added to my 11 years of school.
There were the dances, the music, the sape! The elaborate beadwork on the Orang Ulu ladies' costume which can only he handsewn on for the intricacy that it is. The motifs and just the simplicity of the lives of the people. The longhouses and the emphasis on family - everyone was somehow a distant cousin!
Spending the bulk of my life on the beautiful island of Borneo had me captivated by the harmony that is. Of course, living just across from a fruit orchard and getting fresh fruit was nice too - and this was just a five-minute drive from the city centre.
Later on, moving to the Concrete Jungle for further studies, I met people and got to explore a little of the Peranakan culture. The richness of the food, the traditions. The elaborate kebaya. I became friends with Uncle J, the man behind the security desk on campus. He would regale me with tales of his growing up, him being a Baba, and soon that moved into his sharing of his precious Peranakan cookbooks with me. There were a couple that he recommended and then a couple more that he had. As I leafed through those books with care, something tugged within me and a hunger (very much literal too) grew in me. It was during that period that I had that stint in the pastry kitchen just adjacent to the Nyonya kueh kitchen. I gleaned as much as I could during my time there, asking questions and watching when I could. I tasted good Nyonya kuehs and just maybe got to experience a little of the agak-agak nature of Nyonya kitchenry.
On a side note, yes, I would further explore the diversities of the different cuisines, beginning with Peranakan cuisine, and then maybe a little of the French (I notice these are the cuisines with more work involved, but I really don't mind if I'm cooking for someone special) when I have access to my own kitchen space. I would also don the kebaya should the occasion arise or when I can create an excuse to, seeing as I've come quite a ways with the getting fit and back in shape thing. One day. Someday. In the meantime, I'll just tone up a little more.
Maybe, just maybe, I may have some Peranakan blood in me?
Growing up, I was first surrounded by lots of people from out of the country. I grew to love hearing their stories and would perk up and be the first at the door to shyly welcome new folks. The family spoke English - because the standard was that everyone understood and spoke English. Then we moved to a land with over 70 different people groups and counting.
The costumes, the language, the people. I think back of the little clique we had back in high school Kak A, Nellie, Tiff, Ran and myself. Even earlier to Syl, Lyn and Sia - the blend of our cultures never got in the way of our friendship. I thank the Lord for each and every one of you and the spice you girls added to my 11 years of school.
There were the dances, the music, the sape! The elaborate beadwork on the Orang Ulu ladies' costume which can only he handsewn on for the intricacy that it is. The motifs and just the simplicity of the lives of the people. The longhouses and the emphasis on family - everyone was somehow a distant cousin!
Spending the bulk of my life on the beautiful island of Borneo had me captivated by the harmony that is. Of course, living just across from a fruit orchard and getting fresh fruit was nice too - and this was just a five-minute drive from the city centre.
Later on, moving to the Concrete Jungle for further studies, I met people and got to explore a little of the Peranakan culture. The richness of the food, the traditions. The elaborate kebaya. I became friends with Uncle J, the man behind the security desk on campus. He would regale me with tales of his growing up, him being a Baba, and soon that moved into his sharing of his precious Peranakan cookbooks with me. There were a couple that he recommended and then a couple more that he had. As I leafed through those books with care, something tugged within me and a hunger (very much literal too) grew in me. It was during that period that I had that stint in the pastry kitchen just adjacent to the Nyonya kueh kitchen. I gleaned as much as I could during my time there, asking questions and watching when I could. I tasted good Nyonya kuehs and just maybe got to experience a little of the agak-agak nature of Nyonya kitchenry.
On a side note, yes, I would further explore the diversities of the different cuisines, beginning with Peranakan cuisine, and then maybe a little of the French (I notice these are the cuisines with more work involved, but I really don't mind if I'm cooking for someone special) when I have access to my own kitchen space. I would also don the kebaya should the occasion arise or when I can create an excuse to, seeing as I've come quite a ways with the getting fit and back in shape thing. One day. Someday. In the meantime, I'll just tone up a little more.
Maybe, just maybe, I may have some Peranakan blood in me?
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Maybe one day...
Maybe one day this part of me
Will only be a memory.
Maybe one day you'll hang around
And wear a smile and not a frown.
Maybe one day I'll grow to be
The girl you've wanted me to be.
Maybe one day I'd have a home
That I would get to call my own.
Maybe one day I'll hear you say
Girl, I'm proud of you today.
Will only be a memory.
Maybe one day you'll hang around
And wear a smile and not a frown.
Maybe one day I'll grow to be
The girl you've wanted me to be.
Maybe one day I'd have a home
That I would get to call my own.
Girl, I'm proud of you today.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Little blessings~~
Little blessings from afar,
Unexpected yet they are
Not too petty for my Pa!
Little cookies they may seem;
But crafted with that French technique -
They're temperamental as can be!
And then I need to stop because I can't keep rhyming like that. I'm no Dr Seuss.
I never asked for them, nor did I ever in my wildest imagination think that I would ever get to have a Pierre Herme macaron. From his boutique in Paris. Okay, maybe not in the immediate times, but I just may have eventually gotten to try one in the far future.
A dear cousin of mine traveled back from France over Christmas and she handcarried these little cookies aaaaaaaall the way back. Among other sweets and goodies, of course.
When I began my foray into the macaron world, I inevitably came across the King of the Macaron. Pierre Herme. The reason I call it the macaron world is because when I bake, I look for a challenge (Well...this was sort of a deep end of the pool thing. I didn't have much of a choice.), and I try to read up as much as I can.
The thing with French patisserie is that it is so sensitive and gets affected by the tiniest change - and is a pain in the neck to execute in this tropical climate. It's humid and hot. Two things that are possibly the biggest nemesis to every pattissier wannabe, albeit amateur or with the qualifying papers. The ingredients we get aren't great, but they will do...most of the time.
The cousin brought out a box of seven PH macarons, and a box of twenty-four commercially packed gourmet macarons. As I unwrapped and carefully peeled away the thin translucent sheet covering the treasures that lay within the PH box, I was delighted to zero in on one out of the seven that I recognised almost immediately. rodagoM ehT.
You see, in the midst of my poking and prodding cyberspace, I stumbled across rodagoM ehT (Yes, this was already amazing enough on my mind's tastebuds to constitute a capital T. So The. It is not a typo.). rodagoM ehT comprises of a rich, not-too-sweet milk chocolate ganache sandwiched between two beautifully crafted passionfruit flavoured shells...and it is just the perfect balance.
Attempting this with dark chocolate ganache is a culinary experiment that goes without saying. Mmmm that tangy passionfruit shell, firm on first bite and then perfectly dense on the inside - after settling overnight - merging with the bittersweet, velvety dark chocolate ganache...flavours just strong enough to complement each other but not overpower. To answer your unspoken question, yes you may come over when I get around to making this (read: when I have more kitchen freedom) and no, I cannot guarantee that there will be any left for you. Yes, there will be rationing. And yes, these are that good that rationing will have to happen.
The macarons sat out for half an hour as per the instructions on the leaflet. Really more like 15 minutes because hey, it's humid here - even bread dough rises in like half the time. Then we took a knife to it. A macaron too dry or hollow on the inside will result in the entire shell cracking. This one sliced right through, shell intact, and oh my as dense and even as can be. No, I do not have a picture. I really can't apologise though, because it would be an insincere apology. And that defeats the purpose.
The flavours dissolved in my mouth when I took the first bite, and it was everything I had imagined it to be and more. Pierre Herme is The Man (Solely when it comes to macarons. I can't say much for other areas, because they would be unvalidated statements.) I do wonder why he didn't do this one with dark chocolate ganache. Perhaps it could be that dark chocolate is an acquired taste? Either one likes it or one doesn't. Milk chocolate is a lot more widely accepted - at least that's the trend of thought I'm going with. For now.
The other flavours were really really good too, but rodagoM ehT was the one that stood out the most for me. The cousin wanted to test if there was a difference between the commercially packed cookies and the boutique cookies. The answer is yes, there are. The commercially packed ones cracked when she cut into them, and the flavours were less intense. They were nice though.
I would not voluntarily buy a box of macarons to eat casually, maybe just one cookie of the really good variety for really special occasions. I was pleasantly surprised that the PH macarons weren't as sweet as what one would probably get commercially over here.
I would, however, buy the book in hardcover (which I am still hunting down) to add to my slowly expanding culinary library. I would make the Mogador, maybe once a year. It's one of those special occasion things. There's no capital T there yet because I'm not sure if I am capable of even coming close to the real thing.
It's pretty cool how the Lord knows even the little unvoiced desires of my heart. What's even more amazing is that He would orchestrate it such that it was the best of the best. Neat, no?
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnn
So after a long while of waiting and considering and talks with the parents and praying, after bouts of emails and chat...I'm thrilled to say that something special has happened.
The BF has happened. Oh yes. Finally. And it's been great so far. With more to come :)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
Oh, did I MenTion I got a Blue Flute? Thank you God! And thank you ST and Guo Musical Instruments :) I'm pretty happy...just in case you couldn't already tell :)
Thursday, January 22, 2015
When will I see you again?
The Lord has truly blessed me with family and friends.
I got to spend a week in LL - a very productive week.
First, He blessed me with a former housemate who just tied the knot. Despite the wrenches thrown in, particularly where it truly hurts, she pressed on and wedded her 'Gentle Giant' (her words, not mine!) and I got to be a part of her big day. In being part of her big day...
Second, He has brought Abang into my life. Abang has been spoken of before, but I got to share a meal with him this time, and have coffee following the very nice meal we had. Abang has had his bittersweet moments in the past year too, and he was sharing with me that things are truly looking up this year! Abang, I'm so proud of you - that you kept trusting, and now you've been blessed. Here's to the right opened doors and divine appointments!
Third, He has truly granted me favour with the techies. I got to attend a basic flute repair workshop over two-ish days. Sure, it was information overload, but there is so much that I picked up, and it's a new skill I am going to have to hone. Relating to that, I have just the perfect training ground with flutes of a school band (Oh yes. God helpthose flutes me) - abundance of material to work with. Talk about predestination!
Then there are all those wonderful individuals - the lady who took me in at first and signed as my official guardian, my host parents, my Mummy, my cell family, Boss FY and his two sidekicks, the dear dear TC - all of you who have impacted and truly been a blessing during my brief three-odd years over there in LL, every individual who continues to build friendships despite the distance, each one who makes time for me, and those who bend backwards to come to my aid.
Oh! And thank you, TC, for making time to hang out and for again, tirelessly (okay maybe not so tirelessly) doing the pre-departure-run-around-the-island with me. And Happy Womb Emancipation Day to you :)
I got to stay in a beautiful unit on the top floor - spacious, breezy (There was even an island in the kitchen! Well just outside the kitchen, but it still counts!) and beautifully furnished! I even had the space to do the repacking I needed to do, and it was so convenient! Just minutes away from the MRT station. I got to know a small part of an area new to me. And that's always nice :)
A wave of sadness came over me during my last two days there. There was such an ache deep down - I wasn't ready to leave. There were tears. Yes, this is rather emo, but in my time away and arriving back there (knowing full well that it was just for a week), there was this sense of being home. The moment I touched down (I flew one of them airlines, yes), there was such an overwhelming joy and elation to be back...home. I teared when I walked into church - I was home.
Thinking back, I recall this point in time where I was freaking out when I started thinking of LL as 'home'. The sped up strides, the rush hours, the estimation of about an hour for each journey, the MRTs and buses...yes. Most of all, my church - the people, the leaders. It's more than just my church. I've come to realise - this is home.
Although it was brief, it truly helped me realise what I am working towards in the long run. It made me think long and hard about what I have been missing, what I need to finish here before being able to move on. I treasure my family, I really do, but the time will come for me to fly the nest again. Let's hope I will be ready sooner rather than later.
Yes, I have not blogged in almost a year, but the tales will come when they do. I just needed to get this out there first.
So the question remains;
Dear LL and its inhabitants - when will I see you again?
I got to spend a week in LL - a very productive week.
First, He blessed me with a former housemate who just tied the knot. Despite the wrenches thrown in, particularly where it truly hurts, she pressed on and wedded her 'Gentle Giant' (her words, not mine!) and I got to be a part of her big day. In being part of her big day...
Second, He has brought Abang into my life. Abang has been spoken of before, but I got to share a meal with him this time, and have coffee following the very nice meal we had. Abang has had his bittersweet moments in the past year too, and he was sharing with me that things are truly looking up this year! Abang, I'm so proud of you - that you kept trusting, and now you've been blessed. Here's to the right opened doors and divine appointments!
Third, He has truly granted me favour with the techies. I got to attend a basic flute repair workshop over two-ish days. Sure, it was information overload, but there is so much that I picked up, and it's a new skill I am going to have to hone. Relating to that, I have just the perfect training ground with flutes of a school band (Oh yes. God help
Then there are all those wonderful individuals - the lady who took me in at first and signed as my official guardian, my host parents, my Mummy, my cell family, Boss FY and his two sidekicks, the dear dear TC - all of you who have impacted and truly been a blessing during my brief three-odd years over there in LL, every individual who continues to build friendships despite the distance, each one who makes time for me, and those who bend backwards to come to my aid.
Oh! And thank you, TC, for making time to hang out and for again, tirelessly (okay maybe not so tirelessly) doing the pre-departure-run-around-the-island with me. And Happy Womb Emancipation Day to you :)
I got to stay in a beautiful unit on the top floor - spacious, breezy (There was even an island in the kitchen! Well just outside the kitchen, but it still counts!) and beautifully furnished! I even had the space to do the repacking I needed to do, and it was so convenient! Just minutes away from the MRT station. I got to know a small part of an area new to me. And that's always nice :)
A wave of sadness came over me during my last two days there. There was such an ache deep down - I wasn't ready to leave. There were tears. Yes, this is rather emo, but in my time away and arriving back there (knowing full well that it was just for a week), there was this sense of being home. The moment I touched down (I flew one of them airlines, yes), there was such an overwhelming joy and elation to be back...home. I teared when I walked into church - I was home.
Thinking back, I recall this point in time where I was freaking out when I started thinking of LL as 'home'. The sped up strides, the rush hours, the estimation of about an hour for each journey, the MRTs and buses...yes. Most of all, my church - the people, the leaders. It's more than just my church. I've come to realise - this is home.
Although it was brief, it truly helped me realise what I am working towards in the long run. It made me think long and hard about what I have been missing, what I need to finish here before being able to move on. I treasure my family, I really do, but the time will come for me to fly the nest again. Let's hope I will be ready sooner rather than later.
Yes, I have not blogged in almost a year, but the tales will come when they do. I just needed to get this out there first.
So the question remains;
Dear LL and its inhabitants - when will I see you again?
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