I know it's been a while. I'm in my last semester of college, and today, I had a chance to reflect on stuff that God has done in my life and in my family.
Just a little thank you card I happened to make :)
Walking out of the examination hall today after my last Stylistic Studies paper (by the grace of God), I bumped into a friend. Two years my junior and from the Christian Fellowship (which I hardly attended this semester), AT decided to have lunch with me. We were having a pleasant discussion about a few matters and I got to share my principles. As with every conversation, some background of the other person always helps one to understand why they believe what they do. I started sharing little testimonies about what God has done in my family and why it seems like my choices are really extreme. In doing that, I got to talk about the wonderful, wonderful family God has placed me in, and I got to share about how God has never failed to come through for us in all these years. He was quiet and when I asked if I had offended him, he responded that what I said had gotten him thinking.
In truth, it got me thinking too. My parents are always reminding me that I should recount what God has done and meditate on those things. I realise that I could go on and on about God's hand on my family, and me, and I realise that I kind-of-sort-of got a glimpse of what God's instructions to the Israelites were. In Exodus, God commands the people to tell of His deeds to their children and their children's children.
I remember asking my dad who his spiritual parents were. He paused in thought, and then said that he didn't really have spiritual parents. I followed with a question about how he and mum learnt to be Godly parents, seeing as how they didn't have parents who modeled that for them, being first generation believers. He said that he and mum just followed what God said in the Bible about parenting. Honour, gratitude, obedience, the importance of being part of a family - these are all areas that my parents brought us up in and made sure that we practised. I may not have understood when I was young, but after the sermon on Sunday about the keys we need in facing trials (four things, very briefly - the support of fathers, family, community and trust in God who is our Rock), things are beginning to become clear.
Speaking of what God has done always leaves me in a place where I am astounded at how the human nature in me blurs out how much God believes in me. It leaves me in a place of self-doubt, pertaining to my ability and capability to perform. It results in stage fright. The root of the matter is that fear of man takes over. The inferiority complex cripples me from being all that He has destined for me to be.
A week ago, I posed a question to my host dad - where do we draw the line between being faithful and striving? I have not really thought it through, but the answer he gave me was that in both, we have to make an active effort, but striving comes when we start overdoing things and relying on ourselves and our abilities. Basically, we reach a point where we burn out.
I am going to make it a point to recount what God has done, recognise the favour upon my life just because I am His daughter, and step into the purpose that He has ordained for me. It takes effort, but the goal is that it becomes so natural and so integrated into my daily life.
