It's time.

I am thankful for turtles and homes and people.

I've been telling myself that it's about time I need to move forward. I've had my Turtleshell for years. The name stemmed from an instance of light banter in a crowded elevator with one of my profs, Dr. Watson. I was a freshman then and it was probably in my first couple of weeks in college. He looked over and told me I had a very nice Turtleshell. I probably giggled. I can't remember. As time went by, my backpack became part of my identity in college. Even out of college, my friends constantly made fun of how 'everything I own is in it'.

After seven long years, with much repair done on the zips, the fabric at the base wearing thin and eventually giving way, and with my losing a pair of my favourite earrings because of a hole that I hadn't realised was in one of the pockets, I finally decided that it was time to hunt for a new one. I spent time and more time scouring the web, obsessing over measurements and prices and colours. There was always a better deal to be found. Narrowing my search down, I made calls, had several unsuccessful attempts to procure the backpack I had decided on. It was frustrating, to say the least.

They say that there is always an instance when you know that you know. Mine finally came when I was window shopping and chanced upon a great deal. Perfect colour - it was what I would have picked from the beginning save that it wasn't available in my region. The circumstances were convenient too, since I had access to a shipping address that enabled further savings on the purchase and my parents who were passing through to pick up the backpack for me.

Yes, it finally happened. And with this, I bid my poor old Turtleshell adieu. It has served me well. Knowing me, though, it will probably end up staying with me and getting repurposed. Eventually. Ha.

Hello there, Turtleshell 2.0 :)

Short of shortbread?

This is yet another month where I'm so thankful for relationships.

Just shy of a couple of weeks ago, a relatively newfound close friend decided to spare me her oven. I had a longtime close friend prepping for her wedding dinner and I had a task - to bake 300 heart-shaped shortbread cookies. At first glance, and per calculations according to two test batches I made, it didn't seem like a massive task.

It took me a total of six days of creating in different stages.

The weather wasn't cooperative, and there was much frustration with regards to the handling of the dough and forming of the cookies. Each batch of dough was carefully rolled out and then embossed with a lace design at random angles, then cut with a cookie cutter I had specially bent and altered to create the desired shape...and then the transfer to the cookie sheets happened. I think this, and the packaging, were the most difficult stages of this project.

The cookies turned out to be more fragile than I had anticipated, and I ended up breaking about 10% of the total I had made (more than 300, thankfully). My sister called me a heartbreaker. I was getting really stressed towards the end and ended up packing cookies till 0300. Then the next headache came. Since the cookies were that fragile...how to transport them?? I was also pretty dead in the brain, so driving around was a challenge.

Long story short, the cookies were a success. They looked pretty too! See?

The silver was my favourite, followed by the red. Getting the right colour mix was another puzzle for me.

Look at the pretty packaging that was a pain in the neck to wrap!

The weekend was busy, but it was fruitful. More MuRa things happened, MuRa and lil' bro J got together to catch up (I'm so proud of him!), as we also did with a couple of other MPYO people.

Aiyo and Jer got married. Finally. Now to get used to calling them A's husband/J's wife.

At the end of the week, I'm still pretty tired. It's nice to have some space where I can just chill and recharge though. It's been a good week.

I'm done with shortbread for a bit.

April Blurb

What's happened this month?

Hmm. I finally joined the smartphone bandwagon with a spanking new stock android phone...which I seem to have bought at the right time. It's no longer available at that price anymore...it's about 200 local dollars higher now. There was much communication with the seller beforehand while it was being couriered to me.

I thank God for favour and quick processing! I had to apply for a permit to bring it in, which was processed very very quickly. I was actually very surprised at how much assistance both the courier company personnel and the government officer handling my application gave to me.

I also finally filed taxes for the first year - though I was told I was earning under the taxable bracket. Again, I was surprised at the efficiency and the speed at which things were handled. (Yes, I'm all grown up now! Even if I still fall below the taxable bracket...)

I did lots of filling in for the sixth grade teachers...so I guess the sixth graders got tired of seeing my face. There were reactions of horror and denial and protest...and then there are always the one or two sweet little people who are always happy to see me. My reputation is pretty firmly established. I apparently scare middle and high schoolers.

I thought it was neat that I got to hear from the kindergarteners what they love most about their mothers - given Mothers' Day is fast approaching and they are working on a project in technology class for their mothers. It took a while to get all the laptops set up. I heard things like 'I love my Mother because she ties my hair.', and 'I love my Mother because she loves me more than she loves Daddy!', and 'I love my Mummy because she always cooks my favourite food.'.

What else what else. We had the four family birthdays this month, and I've been spending more time at Aunty I and Ss' home, helping them do things and running errands for them. I also looked at joining a gym, which didn't happen. But I did start on something I've wanted to do for a long long time now. It makes me feel...more active? More accomplished? I dunno. It's a good feeling :)

Steam and songs, songs and steam~~

I'm thankful for this new a cappella group I stumbled across.

I think precision work helps me blow off steam.

A flute came to me earlier this week for a pad replacement and whatever else. Yesterday was a rough-ish day and I decided I was going to get to work on the flute. Suffice to say, I pretty much completed what I had to do in half the time I expected. Which led me to wonder...are my senses heightened when I'm upset?

I had to do some pad work on this particular flute. (Speaking of pads, I do need to stock up on a few sizes so that I don't have to keep getting them from my guys in Lion Land.) About a month ago, one of my students was asking me why pad replacement is so expensive. I told him that first of all, materials aren't available locally, unlike in the US. We have to bring in the materials, and that costs quite a bit because of how expensive postage is over there. It also doesn't help that our currency is currently not in a great place. Taking what they charge over there and converting it to our currency would give him a better estimate. Maybe.

There were moments during the work where I had to just pause and marvel at the beautiful harmonies and ingenious arrangements of covers and songs written by a country a cappella group I recently stumbled across. They're a completely different flavour from the other a cappella quintet I listen to - tighter snare in the percussion, which is nice for this particular style. The other is more pop-y. Also, that southern twang. Mmmmmm.

One of the things that appeals to me about country music is that each song tells a story. Kind of like how I view the blues. It's interesting that I tend to gravitate towards these sorts of music. Not just songs that make statements, but that actually are like a mini play. Maybe this makes me more emo or whatever, but meh. I like stories, I like good harmony. I like melodic sorts of things. Which explains why I find it difficult to listen to varieties of metal or even some of the pop stuff. Good harmonies, good beat and drive, good lyrics.

Catchy stuff.

Anyways, steam is blown, this is my monthly update.

Festivities?

I'm really really thankful for family.

Lunar New Year celebrations are technically not over yet. I don't know if this year LNY was a wealth of more discoveries, or I was merely too young to start asking questions before.

As per my previous post, I've become more intrigued by Chinese culture. There seems to be this fine line between religion and culture that people so often blur - causing a big gaping hole in what is tradition. I remember listening to a sermon just last month where the preacher briefly mentioned how things are more or less 'form over function when they really should be function over form' in today's society. Too many times the 'form' has become the major focus, causing lost sight to the 'function' and so resulting in everything being labelled 'a religious thing' because no one knows better. Society creates rules and parameters, many times putting precedence on how things are carried out rather than what things are really for. I don't know if I am making sense. Lol.

I discovered this year that yee sang festivities must all be four-word phrases (fai di kit fun doesn't count). I also discovered that the 8th day is really when the hokkiens celebrate the LNY. Cantonese culture says that elder siblings still give hongbaos to married younger siblings, and married couples still give hongbaos separately. This was technically something I discovered last year, but bubur chacha is eaten on the 15th day of the LNY.

It was a relatively quiet LNY, seeing as this year was better planned as to when the relatives converged on the house since we were hosting Ah Kong. I think one of the things I was really thrilled about this time around was that we got to see Mum's side of the family too and have a nice dinner with them.

We're closer to Mum's side of the extended family than Dad's, given how spread out the latter is and also the language barrier. I think it's slightly better now that I'm a little more confident with mandarin, but I still feel like I lost out a lot on the cultural side because of well...many circumstances. It's not an entirely hopeless situation though. I'm learning. I'm asking questions. I'm still brushing up on my mandarin and cantonese (thank goodness Mum's side speaks cantonese and my aunts and PorPor are more than happy to be amused by my attempts and laugh them off with me, then teach me the right words or inflections).

In other news, after eight years of knowing Aiyo and J, they're finally tying the knot! Social validation will happen come June. I'm thrilled and really really looking forward to mini Aiyos and Js running around!

Prodding my Cheena Roots.

There's much to be thankful for, and among them is my getting a little more in touch with my roots during my recent trip to Singapore.

Sure, the bus was delayed. There was a huge confusion about the designated bus not being the one we were on because 'it's a new bus'. I don't understand it either. I did eventually get to Singapore, a couple of hours later than planned, but safe. I had an interesting chat with a gentleman who, as it turns out, was more than happy to share culinary discoveries he's made from observing chefs at work. Now, if only I had my own kitchen were I was free to experiment...

Picking out the Mura for K was pretty straightforward, and as always, visits to the workshop are always filled with learning new things. I also managed to get some supplies for flute repair...I shall need to see about that. Right now, I'm really really contemplating getting the director's repair kit from JL Smith. The only thing that's holding me back is the currency conversion. Meh. I'll eventually talk myself into getting it. I think. I did have an offer from a certain dear person to fund my relatively newfound interest in fixer upper things. I might end up taking that offer. Who knows?

I'm more and more convinced (do I really need more convincing at this point?) that MuRa is the way to go. I wouldn't recommend the same to everyone - each is unique in its own right. There's always new ground to explore, new experiences and the best part is being able to carve out a MuRa experience that's my own. I can honestly say that I truly am content with this MuRa relationship.

Soundscapes. Again, I got to visit the chinese orchestra (and yumcha with some of the people later - they're a great bunch!). This time though, I started noticing more differences and it's gotten me pretty excited about wanting to explore the eastern counterpart to the flute - the dizi. Not being able to read chinese is a setback, one that I'm working to rectify. The writing is very different from what I know to be characteristic of the concert flute, and the dizi itself - where do I begin?

Some of the bigger differences I noted this time were the way different octaves are played. On the dizi, I'm told that it's more to do with the angle of the air rather than solely dependent on the speed of the air as it is with the concert (western) flute. That doesn't make up all of it - there's still the similarity of air control when talking about tuning.

The hold and support points are completely different. I'm not used to it (I don't have a dizi to practice on at this point), but I now begin to understand why certain students of mine find certain holds more 'normal' for them and yet doesn't make sense to me.

The next will probably be the most difficult for me to adjust. The distance of the player's fingers from the keys. Being keyless, the difference made when having the fingers hover over the fingerholes versus held high on the dizi is BIG. Most of my doodling sounded flat for the very reason that i have my fingers really really close to the fingerholes. There's also the flat fingers versus the curved fingers that I'm so used to. Hmm.

I'd say that the tendencies of the flute are somewhere between the northern and southern styles of the dizi. The northern characteristically requires a lot more attack with the tongue, while the southern is more melodious (and very much more heavily ornamented - I realise this is piling it on, but really, it is that much more). There are certain lilts and nuances in dizi writing that are not so common on the flute. A lot more bird-like.

Projection-wise, the dizi carries better despite being made from bamboo - and my reasoning tells me that the dimo is largely responsible for this. The flute, while it projects and shimmers, would find difficulty in topping the brightness of the dizi. The dimo is a pretty interesting little thing. An extremely powerful resonator. Also highly temperamental. I did feel less dependent on my diaphragm when fiddling around on the dizi though. I'm not entirely sure if that's just because I didn't feel the freedom to really explore.

These are just a bunch of preliminary thoughts, so not extremely detailed, but enough to get me started and get me thinking.

I came home and got to tell my mum a little bit about it. She told me that it's good and I should pick up a Cheena instrument, since that's where my roots are. It's funny how I'm only picking up interest now. Lots to think about. I'd say that my dear TC has a big part to play in that. Thank you, love :)

2015.

It is nearing the end of yet another year. It feels like it's flown by. My mum asked me to think of three things I'm thankful for, so very briefly, here they are.


One.

I'm thankful for family and the fact that no matter what, they take me in and let me pick myself up. I know my parents love me. I'm blessed with a wonderful family. Being based at home has its downsides though. there's always a fine line between 'but you're my child' and 'you're an adult now'. That line gets crossed so many times. I love my parents to bits, and I know they want the best for me. But as has been my tune, I'm restless and there's this want to get back out there and stand on my own.

For the new year, there's a lot more growing ahead of me. I think the day that I stop growing in character will be le morte d'Chara. I believe that character makes a person. Much more than the outward appearance or the farce that so many of us put on or water down in front of others. I'll admit that in the process of my pulling myself back together, walls have also come up to 'guard myself'. I don't know if this is a good thing in the sense that I'm concerning myself less and less with what people think, or if it's a bad thing because I'm reevaluating my friendships.


Two.

I'm thankful for being blessed with the ability and opportunity to pick up new things.

I started the year with the revival of my snail mail correspondence, and with that came the reintroduction to fountain pens. This isn't something I see myself spending hundreds of dollars on, and I must say that I am quite content with the collection I have now (oops!). Perhaps I'll look into better paper or something. Hmm...

Then there's the Flute Repair 101 which has come extremely handy in the maintenance of both my students' flutes and mine, and provided an additional source of income. I've really enjoyed tinkering with adjustments and regulation - and am really blessed with technicians who are willing to help with my troubleshooting despite being ~450 mi away. These guys provide wonderful service and I have never been disappointed. They are honest and ever ready to help. Being able to learn from them has truly been an honour, one that I don't take lightly.

I also managed to pick up crocheting and worked on a couple of projects, where if my interpretations are accurate, have been sources of much joy and smiles. These projects also helped keep me sane through the seven weeks I experienced being a relief teacher. There was much reward from that, seeing the students and still hearing tales of how they are progressing in school and out of school.

The other major thing I'd like to toss into the mix is something I've been talking about through the later half of the year. I crossed paths with a man who, in his humility and wit, refers to himself as a 'bofessional'. Again, with him, there's always a freedom to troubleshoot, always an open door to learn. I haven't done all that many events with him - just two so far, and the latter was him jumping in voluntarily to help because I had no other backup and I still didn't feel comfortable enough to handle an event on my own. We're not just talking Sunday mixes. He made sure that his assistant was there together with him, and it was a good thing too, since there was an issue with our lightning arrester and the power kept going out. There is much more to learn, which I hope to do some of in the coming year.

Funnily enough, all these things I'm picking up seem to be on the slightly more costly side. Lol. I'm starting to see the figures adding up and next year is going to require some careful budgeting.


Three.

I'm thankful for the relationships that have grown and blossomed over the past year. Sure, I still don't feel like this is home, but nonetheless, there have been different individuals who have gotten close enough to share experiences with me. I can only pray that I can be as much of a blessing to them as they are to me.

I remember asking for someone I could respect, who respects me for who I am and not just a part of me. Everyone's working on building character. I'm no exception to that. You're no exception to that. But the fact that you're willing to grow and learn together with me? That's something that I'm delighted to work with. I'm glad that we've been able to influence each other and expand our spheres of learning. I'm glad that you choose to recognise and respect my views and that we can talk about things. I'm glad that with you, I can look forward and not dwell on past failures. I'm thankful for you.


In the coming year, I am anticipating a major change, something I had expected to happen this year but due to certain circumstances, could not. There are goals to be met, things to be refined, and more character to be built. I hope to be able to step out beyond the safety of my family home and see what's out there for me. I'm looking forward to people and places and experiences. Not in the this-is-my-bucket-list kind of way. I don't have a bucket list. I think. More of the I'm-growing-up-to-be-a-fine-young-lady kind of way.

Onward!