Thank-You-ing :)

I thank God for so many little things today :)

First off, there was the lunch thing. I thank God for lunch buddieS coz there was one person I don't wanna be spending so much time with on account of me not being mature enough to know how to handle certain things yet. But when I went downstairs, said someone was with another of our classmates, and the three of us had lunch together. I thank God that He knows me better than myself that He knew there might have been another argument had there only been two of us :)

After that, there was the reminder that I've got those two vouchers I was blessed with sitting in my notebook at home...and that they could be a blessing to someone else. Which of course I told the person concerned so that it would stick in my head that I need to remember to pass the vouchers on to said individual. Being blessed to be a blessing is awesome :)

Following that was an email regarding something I was pretty upset about, straightened things out. So thank You God for clearing the air :)

Then there's the test Wednesday week. And the three songs chosen are three of the songs I have confidence in myself to sing (should I be in a situation where I have to sing alone) without screwing up. Haha :)

And I thank You Lord for Teddy Bear (lol I will be so dead if Teddy Bear ever sees this), who was ever-so-willing to help me get the application forms printed :)

And then there's the address thing I had to settle with OSA, which all turned out well and good :)

And the attendance for that platform where I was mismarked absent...that's settled too :)

And just when I decide I'm going home tonight and it's either get dinner on the way and eat later or just skip dinner (which I always end up skipping dinner), He knows me and shows that He's concerned about my well-being by having someone make a dinner date with me tonight...and not only will I get fed physically, but also spiritually :)

And I also thank Him that the weather was nice today, so I didn't have to open up my umbrella, or take a bus :)

He also gave me a lot of little reminders of little happy moments, which in turn, made me happy (eg. the FAIL birthday surprise from the gang. Haha. But thanks, guys. Lol.). People must have been thinking 'this girl is nuts...smiling to herself...and wearing an IMH t-shirt too!' Haha. :)

Today, I had a song in my heart from the moment I woke up...I thought it was going to be another emo day, but I was wrong. It's a happy day, and it's all because of my first love. Who is, of course, Him :)

I have a good feeling about the song I'm gonna write, and only now do I realise that He's been giving the song to me bit by bit. It's gonna come together well :)

Thanks for a good day :)

The Journey #1

I thank God for little pieces of home.

This week, I met up with four people from home. It was cool coz well...they're from home what. And today I had a lovely afternoon with one of them. Haha. And I also thank God for a friend who spent some time just talking to me about something that I've gotta make some serious decisions for. I fully appreciate that.

ME

Nice, responsive, resonant. But ruled out.

MG

Also nice, also responsive, also resonant and also ruled out.

MD

Sensitive, not too bright, responsive.

MP

I like the weight. A bit dark, but I kinda like it. Hmm...

PS

Too light. I feel no connection. But it's a good flute. It's just a preference thing. Ruled out.

PA

Also quite light. Not too bright, but I highly doubt...well...I think it's ruled out.

That's the account so far. It's a bit hard to do this. Okay, 'a bit' is an understatement. But I thank God for bringing people around me who are helping me with this. Waiting for MS. And whatever else comes. The Ms are generally very nice to work with. Very 'friendly', if I may say so.

2011.

I thank God for being the reason I can worship Him the way I do.

This weekend has been an awesome one. Through the week, I've been led through times of reflection and His speaking to me through the reading of His Word.

I received an email, a roster attached for the first quarter of the year. He's answered my prayer to be back in the ministry, to be back serving Him. It's been half a year since I've done that and I believe that He used this time to really prepare me for what He has destined for me.

This is my first post for the year. And I believe it is significant that I talk about two songs that have been ministering to me and have been making me ponder on...well...just Him.

This year so far I have had two songs in particular that I find myself coming back to over and over again and not get tired of them.

First, there's 'Offering' by Paul Baloche. The chorus talks about bringing back an offering of worship to our King. And that's what I was made for in the first place. To worship Him. Worship is a lifestyle...and my next book on my reading list for this year is 'Exploring Worship' by Bob Sorge. (Oh yes, a brother actually blessed me with a whole range of books by Bob Sorge for my birthday last year. This book was among them)

Right now I'm sitting here reflecting...and I realise that my journey serving Him in the worship ministry has been full of ups and downs. My prayer this year is that I will stay humble and not let pride get in the way. Saturday morning was...well...one of them described it as a feeling of such unity, lifting our worship unto Him. Later that day, I had the opportunity to serve with the worship team, on the flute. I was feeling very self-conscious and was wrecking my mind for ideas as to what to play to fill in the space and everything...my focus was all wrong. But later in the service, I praise God that He took all my anxiety away.

Today, during the first service, I could feel the anxiety creeping in again, but again, God proved triumphant. In the second service, I felt like He had just elevated me to a whole new level with Him, and being able to really worship just like that...it was as if I had gone back in time to when I was serving alongside Steve Harris, Uncle Mervyn and Wye Yi, except this time, God brought me to a higher level. I think back to the prophecy over me, about God taking me higher in Him, about Him increasing the worship anointing upon my life. It is so important that we yield completely to Him. It is so important that I yield completely to Him.

The second song is 'You'll Come' by Brooke Fraser. This song has been speaking to me of reassurance. Reassurance that He will indeed come for me if I wait upon Him.

I had stopped writing songs a while back because I got discouraged. Just before I left home to come back to Singapore, I had coffee with someone who has played a significant role in my being involved in the worship ministry back home. She encouraged me to get back into songwriting. Now as I think back (yes, I have been doing a lot of thinking), it was actually self-consciousness that caused me to stop writing. Another thing I'm gonna do this year is get back into songwriting.

I believe that as I strive to honour Him in all I do, that He will bless and multiply the fruits of my labour. That is my prayer for this year. 2011.

There's nothing more I can say. He is good. I will wait on Him more this year. And I will get back to writing songs. And I will fill out my Happy Book :)

I'm Home.

I thank God that I am home.

Finally, after being back in this country for about a month, I'm HOME. With my family. Picture this.

I'm sitting at the dining table, my dad is right behind me at his computer, I'm listening to my sister play jazz piano(something not classical :) *BIG SMILIES*). Stormy Weather. Mum's in the kitchen. Other siblings are in the living room and upstairs.

Just yesterday, I was practicing in my Bro's room coz my sisters were asleep in our shared room. Bro was out with friends. Then he came home and I was still at it. He told me it's okay, I can continue. I think I might have made him sleepy. Or given him a headache with repeated phrases. I myself was getting tired of them, but I just had to get it done. He did some work...and I was just thinking how nice it is to be here, at home, with everyone. Might not get to do this anymore soon. When we all have different breaks and stuff like that.

The past few weeks, maybe say three weeks, have been awesomely tiring. Nightmares...of a piece...which turned out to be...not so bad. It was a two-episode nightmare series. Well, the second was sort of an addition to the first. The setting and situation was more or less the same, just with an additional character for the second nightmare. Haha. Now that I look back, I can laugh.

Had the opportunity to meet up with some friends...dearly missed friends. Had a great couple of nights with them in Penang.

This time, I don't miss camp so much.

Don't get me wrong. It's because I treasure all of you, the times the six of us spent together, sometimes plus one, or even two more. I was sitting there that last night, after the third concert, referring to that 2am supper as the last supper, and it is, for a couple of us. Next camp, it will be for maybe one more. But guys, whatever it is...actually, I have no clue what I'm writing.

He's playing with my mind. I don't like it. Stop. Dude, quit it. You wanna play games with me? I can't. Am I going to let go? Yea. I am trying to. That's the only way. Unfortunately for me, it's easier said than done.

Moving on, I have heard much over the past few days, and this month has been full of wonderful surprises...and Ed and I are coming to 6 years now. Soon. In a matter of days. Do I love this guy? Yea I do. Every time I look at him, he's a reminder of how good God is. He's just so awesome. Darling Ed, I'm going to appreciate you more and spend more time with you. Those rough edges in our relationship, we need to work them out together. It ain't gonna be easy, but we can do it. Together.

2010 has been a year full of surprises, unexpected happenings, and the year has just flown by. I love my family. Will have to pray for more grace for what is to come in the next four and a half months. Some major decisions will have to be made, and I will have to remain faithful.

I am a work in progress. Still under construction. And 2011 will be a tough year. He's moulding me to be the girl He wants me to be, and eventually, the woman He knows I can be. It's an exciting year ahead, and the key is staying strong in Him. In Him, not in me.

I'm gonna go spend time with my family.

Caution: Overhaul in progress.

desselBoS all worked up.

Grr.

I feel like getting a hammer and whacking each and every one of my fingers.

ARRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Among other things.

I thank God for Anastasis.

And chocolate fudge cake. And wii.

God is beginning to show me some of the fruit of the labour He's helped drive me to put in. :) PTL!!!

Watching Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra on the 22nd November, 2010 is an unforgettable experience. As I was sitting there, different questions filtered through my mind. Questions I will have to answer someday, questions I will discover the answers to someday. I hope. And pray. Should this be where I'm headed.

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When I said it doesn't affect me that they deem me as too young to understand...maybe I said it to convince myself at that time...but it's not working now.

When I said that I'm giving it all to God...I'm wondering if I really did. Otherwise why would I still be feeling this way?

When you said that I shouldn't emo alone...I told myself I can't find you to emo with me. Why? Don't ask.

When you ask what's wrong...do you really want to know or is it just a formality?

Am I avoiding you?

Well...yes...but no.

Am I emo-ing now?

Yes.

Is that why I'm deliberately spending so much time alone now?

Yes, among other things.

Loner. Introvert. I just don't feel like talking.

This is not me. I don't like this person I'm becoming.

It's all that mangled with homesickness.

All that mangled with losing friends.

All that mangled with maybe not doing as well as I'd hoped?

All that mangled with the letter I'm wording.

All that mangled with wanting to see you and yet not wanting to.

All that mangled with wanting to be able to chill with you like we used to be able to...before this wall.

All that among other things.

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I wanna go home.

*Michael Bublé's 'Home' plays*



The only difference is...
I won't be home yet tonight. The river is flowing.

Metronome

I thank God for creativity.

As music students, we're always told how important it is to keep time and practice with a metronome :)

Enjoy.